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So how long can one person hide behind an illusion? The answer to that baffles even me. It seems like it varies from person to person with the duration maybe as well as boiling points and brinks to insanity. I haven’t quite gotten to investigate this subject, the reason? When you’ve fallen in love with the mask, should you truly wish to pry that veil from that face? A mask so smooth and cool to the touch. Personifying elegance of the wearer, whether the truly have that demeanor or not; can you honestly say that a mask represents so much? If make-up us used to conceal the ‘misconceptions’ and ‘disfigurements’ of the face the applier, then it can only be reasoned that a mask is used to conceal the creases and scars. I don’t know, maybe I’m just rambling. Maybe people really do act the way they do because that is who they are, not what they’re expected to be.
I doubt a few would believe so, but I’m a cheerful person. I do become a little emotional at times and when I do become burdened with hardship and distaste I always mask the situation. So, since I’m too lazy to actually update my ‘Profile’; mainly because I’m screwing around with HTML and can’t really have long-term access to the net.

S/N: I’m writing this write now (obviously it won’t be ‘now’ when I submit it and go one to do something either than ranting or coloring) and waiting patiently till the parentals disperse so I can then log on and submit this.

Instead I’ll rant here about my peeves! I’m always willing to listen, I always hear everyone else’s rants and their complaints; most of which I tend to believe the person is merely overreacting as is teen angst is to produce. I often think about things before I react in a negative way so I hope you can sympathize or pretend, as I am obligated to do so with more than half of those who complain to me.



Okie, so y’know how some people jokingly will go around calling me they’re ‘gay lover’? Well, okay, maybe only a few know about that but there it is now and to tell you the truth it really is cute, really but… It sometimes overwhelming. Most people who say this to me already have a lover, a significant other. I’m aware they say it jokingly and mean nothing of it, but that’s just it. You have someone you can actually call ‘lover’, ‘sweety’, ‘hun’, ‘honey bunny’ and all thos lame and corny names. That’s something I don’t have, as much as I would enjoy to have it, yea, nothing there. So when people will tell me those and I know of their real ‘love’ it just pains. One, for knowing that it’s a complete lie and only a joke. Two, what’s the point of being such a damned tease? I’m not too up to date with the world, but women and men like that just disgust the hell out of me. Every time I hear those words I spite them, I wish the bearer would die. Thirdly, I guess you can say because I’m disgusted with how a person saying that usually thinks highly of themselves therefore that’s why the infest others with their flirtation. All I ever do in these situations is grin and bear it; for the love of Hades, can you people not think?! As soon as they ask ‘is that okay?’ and I respond shortly with a smile and ‘yes’ doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m enjoying it just that I’m not that rude to break what little confidence you have! If you know in your mind that it would make most people feel uncomfortable whether the reason are similar or not; keep in friggin’ mind that people want a chance at what you dwindle at.

People using ‘gay’, ‘homo’, ‘fairy’ and ‘f**’ the wrong way. Also the assumption that every homosexual loves friggin’ rainbows! scream Where the hell did that come from?! Here’s how a conversation with on of big brother’s friends went:

Me>> *Looking through the pile of apples they’re serving for lunch* Oh, hey Victor!
Victor>> So you weren’t kidding about being gay, huh?
Me>> Nopers!
Victor>> So… you like rainbows, huh? That’s why you had those socks?

: What the Hades?! I had multi-colored socks like rainbows because I was gay? What kind of observation was that? So, then you’re telling me I can look at a Caucasian with baggy pants, that make him look like he has an overflow of fecal matter in his boxers, and say he’s an African American trying to look ‘ghetto’? Yea, I can totally understand that! Let’s not forget if I see anyone with blonde hair and blue eyes they’re Aryans! I’m sorry, normally I can keep this zipped but the crap idiots can come up with just… Infuriates me! As for the terms being abused, I hate walking down a hallway in school and hearing some guy yell to other a few yards off ‘those pants are so gay!’ What the hell?! How can pants be gay?! I was unaware they could even have a sexual identity! Or when you’re watching at rallies and you notice how one guy passes a ball far too quickly to another, as he jolts pass the other yells at him ‘f’in f**!’ That I just really hate. So guys that are straight but are called these names are never harassed by actual homosexuals get knocked out of society? I apparently missed a memo.

People who think they have it the worst. This girl at school, no name mentioning, but every day she comes and every day she’ll tell me about how she lost something or someone. For instance just Thursday, she comes sad and starts reciting her life story of boyfriends and how she could never keep one and how the moved on ever-so quickly. Do I honestly care? Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear about it the following morning! Once, once is just enough, okay pumpkin? Not just that but people who complain about stupid things being taken away. Another gal from school has her cell phone and internet confiscated. She comes to school crying. Wanna know why she had it taken from her? She went over her minutes and snuck out, oh yea, real nice. Of course you shouldn’t have your phone taken! Your parents overreact far too much! Yea right… *Pfft*

Those are the mains ones. The only ones that really have significance. I decided the paint that was chipping from my mask couldn’t withstand much else. I peeled my paint for you so you random people can see it’s not all fun and sunshine I’m crapping out. Maybe I’ll repaint that area again, most likely. This’ll be the billionth layer but the more layers, the less chance of the wearer being revealed.