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  • Artist Info: "I've gone completely mad! Oh, wait... you can't go where you already are..."--moi!<br />
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    "All right, then, I'll go to hell!"<br />
    -Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn<br />
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    "So the bottom line is... wait, was there a top line?" -me<br />
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    "The captain had been telling how, in one of his Arctic voyages, it was so cold that the mate's shadow froze fast to the deck and had to be ripped loose by main strength. And even then he got only about two-thirds of it back."<br />
    -Mark Twain, Following the Equator<br />
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    "If I were a cat, I'd pee on the couch... Does your purse smell like cat pee?"<br />
    -Helena, a very strange little girl<br />
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    "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."<br />
    -Mark Twain, on improving a man<br />
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    Wheeee! i am writing a book! i looove how it's going so far, but now that I've done all that typing, i bloody well think how it could be better! ain't that cruddy? if it keeps up, I'll never get it published!!!-me, of course.<br />
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    "The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is that you really want to say."<br />
    -Mark Twain, on writing well<br />
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    Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.<br />
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    The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.<br />
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    The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.<br />
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    One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with beautiful descriptive words.<br />
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    One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take the body away.<br />
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    As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.<br />
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    Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.<br />
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    He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.<br />
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    The nurse responded that the man was blind and not even see the wall. Shes said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."<br />
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    The lesson: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.     <br />
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    So, anyways, just had to put those there, so... Im bored. Im gonna go get cereal now... GRANOLA!!!!!!!!!
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