Demonic Love 1

• Artist: xxxiHinata Inuzukaxxx
• Description: Chapter one, nothing else to say...
• Date: 11/03/2008
• Tags: demonic love

heart Chapter 1 Ripped away for ever heart ,

"DEMON!" cryed out a young teen female with snow white skin and her ice blue eyes full of tears her long blond hair flowing in the wind.
"Ca-ssie..." painfuly said the young teen boy with the huge gash though his side said to the girl. "Hang in there Demon, please I-I need you" she gently said as tears fell from her eyes like the rain from a cloud. "For-for give me Cassie but I-I think it's go-goodbye" "NO...Demon I love you to much for me to let you go...we-we where going to get married and settle the battle between man and Demons every-where, make this world a better world for us all..."
"I-I want you to do that I'll alwas be in your your heart for ever...I'll alwas love you even if our love is forbidin, scince I'm a-a demon and your a Human...and the kings daughter..." "Demon...please you must live, please no DEMON!!!"
Cassie cryed out for Demon to awaken as rain started to fall. Demon's skin truned pale his body lay lifeless in the poudle of blood and rain water, the rain now pooring lik a water fall. "Demon...I-I-I I love you and I'll miss you" her tears heaved up like the rain "Demon for you I'll change the world just for you...in your memory....I love you" She said as she jumped on Demon's horse Shadow Mist, she road off to the castle determined,
but some one drug Demons body away and road off with it...
-------------------------------To be continued------------------------------------------------
Is it truly the end for Cassie and Demon's love or well Demon?
Keep on readen!

Comments

[Starlight_Miss]

spelling.....

[beesonmoo]

that was so freakin awesome i got to see if there is any sequels to it i said this already but that was so freakin awesome like wow thats so amazing

[Sockpuppet Love]

!I lOvE iT!

[Chaos Muses]

I have to agree with Krazii13 on this one. There is some good potential here, but I think you need to go more in depth with things. As in, give the reader an idea of what's going on and make it easier to tell who is speaking and who is not. It is a little short too, you might want to think about adding a bit more to your next chapter.

[krazii13]

it is simple but It needs work, such as the dialouge you need to make it look more professional, so your readers don't get confused by who is speaking like if Demon starts , "(whatever he says)"

Cassie's repsonse "(. . . . . .)"
and it would continue like that

[xxxiHinata Inuzukaxxx]

Just a sad little story I came up with hope u like it plz comment!