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He took one last long drag before letting his cigarette fall. It took a good while for it to go the full ten stories, but none the less he could hear someone yelling is the coffin nail bounced off their empty skull. Nothing could escape his ears; he could even hear the frantic steps of a young man running up the stairs.
The door to the rooftop slammed open, a young man with a bright orange shirt stood panting before it. "So you came..." Uttered the man in the long black trench coat as he stepped away from the ledge to face his new guest, the coat flapping wildly in the wind.
“Of course I came!” He yelled as he slammed his fist against the door. “I can’t, no I won’t! Let you do this.” He clenched his teeth and gripped the door frame until it splintered in his fist. “Why, why are you doing this Victor?”
Victor chuckled to himself as he stepped backwards on to the ledge. “Why?” He trust his hands up into the air. “Why not?! They’re nothing but drones, meaningless drones! Living out their boring lives, day after countless day!” Victor brought his hands up to face and started laughing hysterically. “I’m just going to unlock all their hidden potential, open their eyes to the real world.”
The next moment Victor was gone, and appeared behind the man. “You know, let the one you and me live in Gus!” Gus turned to face him but it was too little too late as Victor backhanded him sending him skidding across the roof.
“You’re gone…” Gus got up onto his knees and wiped a bit of blood from the corner of his mouth. “You’re really gone now, aren’t you?” He let his eyes fall to his sides as he just blankly stared at Victor. “They took you and killed you.” A single tear ran down his cheek. “Killed your very soul, the soul of my brother!” The ground around Gus twisted and bent. He thrust his hand into it as if it were clay.
“You know nothing.” Victor cracked his knuckles. “You are nothing, a waste of potential. Me and you both know you can’t control that power stop wasting my-“ Victor’s words were cut off by the spike that had shoot out of the ground behind him and out through his chest.
“I’ve been practicing.” Gus smirked.
“b*****d!” Victor coughed blood as he spoke. “But you see dear brother.” Victor slowly pulled himself free off the spike as if it weren’t there. “I’m immortal now!” Victor laughed harder and louder then ever as he stared down the terrified eyes of his brother.
- Title: Random
- Artist: Des_512
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Description:
I wanna do something for this new arena...not sure what yet xD probably just a random fight scene off the top of my head x3 warning my spelling and grammar needs work x.x
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ok so I just randomly wrote this on the spot and...I hate it x.x I was hating it so much I had to stop -_- it's very generic and lame xD - Date: 07/16/2008
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Comments (5 Comments)
- vams1001 - 05/02/2009
- i can only see better future in arena of writing, self criticism is always good, trust me, no one gives a damn they are too busy being too nice to you and blinds all your mistakes,guiding to great fall, if you can work on wht u think u should , you could do great for ya self
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- Amanda - 07/16/2008
- You're way too critical of yourself, Des. You just need to put a little more focus into your work. That's all. Seriously. And no more of this 'My writing sucks' crap either. If I can't say it, niether can you! -raspberries at-
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- Des_512 - 07/16/2008
- I hate it because of all the points Selket mentioned xD Also I didn't forget to call him...he just never called back T-T xDDD
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- Amanda - 07/16/2008
- So much for popping the virgin comment bubble. xD But anyway. I don't see how you heat it, Des. I liked it. The characters are believeable and everything! Thing is, I already know you hate the way you write. But for the sake of... well, saying it? Dude. Stop like, being hard on yourself. You write well. It's just a matter of whether or not you like the plotline or not. Work a little more at this one. I'm willing to bet it'd be great. :]
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- selket16 - 07/16/2008
- well, your description leaves me from having to leave a comment, but I will be redundant anyway. A rooftop argument involving a man in a trenchoat? Opening with a cigarette being thrown from same rooftop? One of the men being apparently insane? SOme secret plot is afoot? Did you forget to call Bruce Willis?
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