Time's Passed By

• Artist: Kizume-Chan
• Description: 15 years after naraku was deafted,12 years after Inuyahsa's daughter and son were born,and 4 years after Inuyasha's group were killed their children felt lonley.Then one day rika asked the twins if they could train and use the time traveling spell.But it accidentally took them before their parents were married or when they were born or naraku was killed.Can they keep the secret?
• Date: 07/27/2008
• Tags: inuyasha timepassedby fanfiction

Time's Passed By

Chapter 1:Time Traveling

"Oh guys come on!We've got a mission!"Rika said.

"Yeah yeah yeah!"Rei said.

"Hey hey!No fights in here!"Mika said.

"Well it isn't our fault that our parents are killed!"Mizuki said.

"Do you want your parents to live?"Aika asked.

"No duh!"Shiro said.

"Then get your butts in the portal!"Mika said.

"I'm going!"Rika said then jumped in the portal.

"Hey wait!"Shiro said then jumped in too.

"Man!Guys wait up!"Rei said.

"Ladies first"Kino said.

"You know you act like a baby sometimes"Kisha said while jumping in.

"Sorry kino but she is kinda right"Mizuki said while jumping in too.

"Man!"Kino whined then jumped in.

"Boys.They can be idiots sometimes!"Hana said while jumping in too.
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Sorry For the short chapter!

Comments

[Lycos Devanos]

Wow....Where is the details about whats happening? This looks more like a poorly written script for a show rather then a chapter for a story. You need to add in more details about whats going on around the people and what they look like otherwise its just crappy.

[Zweit]

Ah, this is gonna take a minute.

I was told that a chapter always has to have a major event in it. Otherwise the scene isn't too nessecary. Nothing important took place here. To add to that, where is here? What did it look like. What do THEY look like? There's no description other then them jumping.

They talk, but with no feeling. 'dadadada, he said. dadadada, she said.' How did they say it? Were they doing anything else other then jumping?

You have alot of work to do on this piece.