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As usually, Colleen goes home with her friends.But, one day, she feels how boring this daily life, so she want the different daily life. She always wishes for something, her wish is to have a good parents. Her parents usually go in the dawn and go home at night. She's so sad, her parents always giving attention only to her little brother and take care of her big sister and brothers' life. Her little brother still a baby. she's so cute! Her big sister still in Junior High School, Freshmen. She became a good singer. Her big brother is in Senior High School, Sophomore. He is very clever and always read books. Her last big brother, now he works, he is a good actor. And how about Colleen? She's an ordinary girl who still on sixth grades, elementary school. She's not clever, but not too stupid. She always got courses and her parent doesn't very compliment to her. Her full wish is that she become the daughter of her parent, her parent became very good, and she's the only kid in her family!
She found the dog, little cute labrador retriever, in a box. She feels so sorry of the dog and bringing her to the home. In Colleen’s home, she bath the dog. She names the dog, ‘ Chiaki ‘. She sleeps in joy with her new friend. But, that joy never hang on. One week later, at her home, Colleen crying. Chiaki heard her and cheer Colleen. “ Thank you. But, it’s useless “, answer Colleen. Chiaki thinks, ‘ Why it’s useless? Human, including minors should be happy with that. That’s their wish at sadness. ‘ Colleen start to crying again. “ I wish if someone can grant my wish, if someone know my feeling! “ Chiaki feels so pity of her.
‘ Don’t worry, Colleen, I’ll grant your wish ‘, Chiaki says. “ You can... talk?” ask Colleen. ‘ You can hear me!? Wow, that’s great~!’ Colleen says, “ Then, woulddya grant my wish?” Chiaki chuckle and then she says, “ Listen, Col-chan! I’m a God. My name is Inukami. I’ll grant your wish. Don’t worry, be happy! “ Then, Chiaki really grant her wish. Colleen became the only kid in her family and her parent very give her attention. After that moment, Colleen doesn’t see Chiaki again. Colleen now feels such a happines along her.
One day, she look at a kid who play with her dog. “ I want a dog “, she says that to her parent. “ Okay, sweetie, Mom’ll buy a Chihuahua just for you, my only daughter!” And her Daddy and Mommy kissed her. The next day, she very surprised, there is a dog on her bed! She stare at the new dog and sighed. “ You aren’t Inukami-sama at all...” At that moment, she realize that she want is her friend, her trusted partner, Chiaki. She go out, her parent very surprised. “ Colleen, where do you want to go? Daddy is...” Colleen scream, “ Don’t go after me! Don’t ever think for it!” Her parent just silent and keep working. Colleen went to the church and she prays,” God, please, help me.” And, she left. She goes to the Dog’s Park. She think Inukami-sama’ll come.
She just sit on the bench and scream, “ Inukami-sama! I’m sorry! I know that I want is my dearest friend, and that’s you!” Suddenly, Inukami-sama appears. ‘ Do you really want this? Swear to me! ‘ say Inukami-sama. “ I want my dearest friend, my daily life back! “ say Colleen loudly.
Colleen woke up. She surprised. “ Thank, Godness, it just a dream! “ But, she very surprised and sad when she knows that Chiaki isn’t there. Colleen ran into the place that she meet with Chiaki. She just found a little cut Golden Retriever. She crying. The dog cheer her, just like Chiaki. “ Aww, you cheer me? Thanks! From now on, your name is... Chiaki..” say Colleen.
Colleen never knows that Chiaki lives in that dog.
“ Don’t worry, Colleen, I’m here and I always love you, forever ever “, bark Chiaki.
- Title: Colleen's Wish and the Dog
- Artist: 717y
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Description:
This is my short story. I'm sorry if I had mistakes. Please comment me! And be my friends!
The story start from this :
As usually, Colleen goes home with her friends.
But, one day, she feels how boring this daily life, so she want the different daily life.
She always wishes for something, her wish is ....
- Date: 10/06/2008
- Tags: colleens wish
- Report Post
Comments (7 Comments)
- Caffeinated Gir-chan - 10/07/2008
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It needs a lot of fixing.
I got so lost!
Study sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, puncuation, run-on sentences, and, above all, conjunctions and transitions. - Report As Spam
- 717y - 10/07/2008
- Sorry, the gramars are error at all, maybe I'll fix it, I kinda confused, too
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- Anna Godly - 10/06/2008
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Agree with the others, a lot of grammar errors. NOT THAT THAT WAS AN ACTUAL SENTENCE.
It was also really random. Some things didn't quite match up. You seemed to be running around everywhere and forgetting where you went and what you said and yeaaaaaaaah.
Sweet story, though. - Report As Spam
- Xenriku - 10/06/2008
- I kinda agree with Gingalegendokami. I loved the story, but you'll have to work on your grammar. I was kinda lost at the end too.
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- Queen_Nifteri_16 - 10/06/2008
- it good i like it. ^^
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- Gingalegendokami - 10/06/2008
- I liked it except the grammar errors. But that's fine I'm kind of a lost cause with that too.
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- 717y - 10/06/2008
- Everyone, please add comment ^^ I'll read it
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