• This pen is broken, but if I put the lid on it your eyes won't see it. Its a trick, like a magic trick...except no magic. I like magic tricks, but I can't do them. Unless the pen trick counts, which it doesn't. I should know, I make the rules. I can do that...because who's going to stop me? Let me answer that for you, no one. Because I'm alone. So I'll make the rules. For now. Maybe one day someone else will come along and then they can make the rules. But maybe by then I won't be able to talk. I don't talk to myself...not anymore. I did before, just to hear something. But it made me feel weird...like I was crazy. Which I'm not. If I was crazy would I know it? Somedays I wonder. And then I wonder why I wonder...really who cares? I don't...or do I? I don't know the answer to that anymore...

    I think their drugging me...maybe in the mashed potatoes that taste like glue. I don't know who would be drugging me, but that would be the drugs fault...if I really am being drugged. Thats the part that gets me muddled...all these questions and no answers. But thats what life is, isn't it?

    I think I'll eat the mashed potatoes that taste like glue. And that grey meat that might or might not really be meat. I think its cat actually. I don't know why I think that, but I do. And maybe it is. Who knows? I don't. Or do I? No! I can't think like that, thats what makes my head spin and the world grow dark.

    And then I know the pen is not a pen, and this is not paper. This is nothing, its been me this entire time. And then the world is gone, I can't even find me...And then a light. So bright I'm blinded and then a pair of hands, holding me and I'm tiny. I'm just a baby! But thats not right...I'm old. I should be almost dead. And then I see it, and I know the truth. I was old, but I was young too. I started in this very way, and then I grew, I grew so old my heart could no longer pump. And then I was in the blackness...and so this strange world I just left, with the broken pen, and the gluey mashed potatoes, and meat that might or might not be cat. It wasn't real.

    And now I'm in my mother's arms, and the past is fading. I'm forgetting all the leasons I learned, all my old friends, my old family. I'm starting over, in this new bright world. And maybe, just maybe this time I'll pass the test we are all given. And as these thoughts float through my brain, they too are forgotten. And I'm no longer who I was. My new mother is telling the doctor my new name, and my new father is grinning down at me. And then I realize I'm cold...very cold. So I open my mouth to tell someone, and all that comes out is a scream. But by then I don't remember I could make any other noise. By then I am just another baby, the wisdom of the world, which I once knew is gone. I will have to learn my lessons all over agian.