• I sat down heavily in the car as my parents, my sister, and I were going to Alex's funeral. I waited for the tears to glaze my eyes, and then become an avalanche when we caught sight of the funeral home. No tears came. And none came when we got in. I felt numb, empty. And then I saw his body. Laying there; empty. I went up to kneel on the green velvet bar next to his casket. As I got a closer look I saw he was wearing makeup so that he would look more natural. That brought the tears. They welled up in my eyes. I sobbed for about a minute and then reached out and held his hand. I half expected him to sit up, to see his green blue eyes smiling down at me, his grin filling up the whole room. It would not have been a good practical joke, but still, everyone would be relieved. There was a board filled with silly pictures of Alex. Some were when he was a baby, then a toddler, then a kid, then a teen. That made the sobs come worse. Then, I got up and went to the food room. After talking to friends and family, we all dragged our feet to the main room where we all sang 'If I Ever Leave This World Alive' by Flogging Molly. It was one of his favorite songs. I hugged his mother and father one more time and left. Halloween, nor life, will ever be the same for me without him.