• I wake up whenever I want. Sometimes it's in the afternoon, sometimes it's already night and I didn't know. Other times, I sleep for such a long time that I wake up disoriented, but waking up isn't my story. My story is, well, my life pretty much. Anyway, I wake up usually in the morning, and I see these people rushing about because they ignored their alarms and hit the snooze button, and by the time they finally wake up, they only have five minutes left. Now, I'm not a sympathetic cat. It's their fault. They should have woken up when they set their alarm clock, but noooooooo they are puny ignorant fools (maybe not the adults). Well, in my opinion they are. I almost feel like a prisoner in this house. I am not given the proper food to eat, and when it comes to rules, I just feel like I want to huddle up in a corner and stay there for the rest of my life. The human people have spray bottles everywhere you go! And you do one thing wrong and the next thing I know, I am drenched in water. Well, that just sucks. But anyway, I'll try and stop butting in so many times. So the humans are rushing about and I'm groggily getting in their way. Not on purpose of course, but I'm kind of like a drunk driver. Just swaying every which way and hoping not to hit anybody. 99.99% of the time I don't get run over. Anyway, people are rushing about and I am walking back and forth not knowing what to do. I jump up on the couch and sit down. I would fall asleep, but the affectionate children keep me from doing so. They pick me up and do so many odd things with me that I eventually feel like scratching them in the eye. I don't though because I am mature. But they play with me until their mom gets mad and tells them to hurry it up and then she starts threatening that she will leave without them. They hurry it up giving me a last poke in the stomach and they are gone. Then it is me and the dad. I kind of like him and the mom the best. I saunter into the bedroom, and there he is getting dressed for work. I leap onto the bed as gracefully as I can, and sit and keep him company. Every once in a while, he gives me a pat on the head, but sooner or later, he finishes up, grabs his coffee and breakfast, and he is also off. As I hear the front door close, I peek my head up in the window and watch him as he takes off. When he is gone, I think about what I should do that day. I would take a short nap of about four hours and wake up and become super hyper. I'd have to satisfy myself by chasing my toys all around the house until I grow tired and take another small nap, but this time on the table since I never get to sit on the table when the humans are home. I would wake up, do a little grooming, and end up sitting in the sun until the children come home first from the bus, then the mom, then the dad. While they eat dinner, I eat mine, and that is that and I fall back into a deep sleep waking up whenever I want to the next day. So that is my life, it has a few perks such as if they leave to front door open long enough, I can run out and rub myself up against the ground and get as much outside smell on me as I can before I am taken back into the house. Later, I can smell whatever I was rolling in. Hopefully it was something pleasant. But I am not complaining. My life is fun and I wouldn't trade it for anything... not even for 26 pounds of sardines.