It was morning, I woke up nervously and full of bad thoughts. I got to the bathroom were I saw her. She was in staring at me from the mirror. That girl I always hated for what she was. She was coming closer and closer to me, I couldn't move. What was happening? She put her hand on my throat. She was strangling me. I couldn't breath. Everything faded to black...
It was only a dream, a bad dream. I get in the kitchen and drink the cold coffee…
It's drizzling and in my soul I feel the same strange rhythm as if it says it is her, the new ghost who came to haunt me.
The quiet in room isn’t quiet anymore and the cry in it is muffled by the dregs on the cup’s bottom, it looks like I am not alone. Its sinful soul is trickling on the dirty window…
“You better keep it a check or you’ll end up a wreck...”
Or it just seems to me…?
I don’t know…
It is an usual morning. Or not?
The rain doesn’t stops and her cry, too…Or it just seems to me? Like everything is only a bad dream… or a paid nightmare…
“I’m paying a mad savant to torture you with what you have more darker in you, to produce nightmares at my demand, to make you more crazy…"
“Like I wasn’t enough mad… or lost…”
I have my mind lost, too… It is well lost and deep inside me… And makes me lose myself, so don't know who I really am… Or makes me want to cut her veins, maybe so I might be able to take her off my mind… It is clear. I probably want to kill her…
What are these? The confessions of a murderer to come? Who was the one I want to kill so badly? The one who haunts my dreams? I don’t even know what I dreamt… About what nightmares am I talking? Or who is “she”?… I think I had drank to much last night! Like that would ever happen!!
Why am I in this mood? My head hurts badly… My hand, too… I must wash my face… I feel so dirty and impure…
"What the hell!?!? What's with this blood on my hand??!!? And my face!?! What I’ve done?
I must wash my self. It’s still there… It’s stuck on my hand… Like a blame written on the forehead… Meant to be seen….It starts to disappear… It fells better this way…"
I must get off here.
"What the hell?!?! Where are my roommates?!!? Anybody? Nothing!!! Where have you all disappeared? What I’ve done? Why I’m falling? Who paid this nightmare to torture me ? Where are all of you? Why did you left me here alone, without knowing what is happening? What’s my fault? Mari where are you? Why is all darkness? Mari? Light? Real light?" I scream in agony.
“Open your eyes!”
“My eyes.... are hurting.”
“Open your eyes, now!!”
“Don’t scream at me… My head is hurting like I drank as mad…”
“Well, you drank… As mad…"
“You drank even the last drop of cherry.”
“Who? I? How?”
“Are you surprised? Or what?”
“But who are you?”
“Open your eyes and see who.”
“I am… I’m afraid…”
“Afraid? Of what?"
"Well, I killed you… “
“I killed you when you were asleep… “
“Girl, you’ve drunk a little to much … “
“Mari? You are? What’s with this blood ?”
The morning becomes suddenly normal. The rain is friendly somehow. My hand is red, but it isn’t blood, it's only cherry, but what doesn’t matter…. I have to clean myself. I am sinful... I feel like a murderer...
- Title: The confessions of a murderer
- Artist: summeh
- Description: It's just a page from mad girl's diary. The idea came from a dream I once had: I wanted to kill somone really badly, but I didn't know who that person is... Excuse my grammar mistakes, since I'm not from a English-speaking country...
- Date: 01/03/2009
- Tags: confessions murderer death ghost blood
- Reference Image: