• Once upon a time, there was a buttocks. He visited his family of buttockses every new year. One year, the buttocks was shattered that he had to visit his hideous, pickle-eating in-laws. He talked to his wife, ms. buttocks about this problem. Ms. buttocks said "dont make me snap my fingers in a z formation butt rotation! I'm dumping you!!!!!! talk2hand " The buttocks was heartbroken. He went to his special walnut tree and sat under it. He wept, and there he made a decision that would change his life (or death) forever. He got into his 97 chevrolet and drove across the country to arizona, home of the grand canyon. He got out of the car, took a deep breath, and jumped off the edge of the grand canyon. It turns out that the grand canyon hotel was where his wife had eloped with her new husband, butty mcbutt butt. She exited the hotel just in time to witness this act of suicide. She kicked her husband, and flung herself into the canyon, sceaming "NOOOOOOO! DON'T!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!" She heard a thud......and looked down to see her ex husband levitating in an angelic sprinkling of pixie dust, and he rose into the clouds, never to be seen again.

    THE END!! ( that is, until ms. buttocks mysteriously dies tragically of an accident with her new toilet... gonk )