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The one at the beach, the surfer, the beach bum; no one knew my name when I was fourteen. I was a fresh man at Del Dorino High on the coast of Kauai. Where no one knew that I could belly dance or skate board. Or that I had straight A’s last year. I could be anyone I wanted. I could be Cori the innocent. But why the hell would I want to be that? I loved being me, undefined, and unknown. They’d get to know me sooner or later. I would fit in here, like the natives I was tan and had a good body. Only I had brown hair and an American face. Big blue eyes, a petite nose, and full lips. But anyone who saw me could tell I was no prep. I was no goth though. I really didn’t believe in labels.
Being the new one in town didn’t stop me from already having friends. Kona, a boy I’d met surfing, was a kind, and funny person. I already liked him and could imagine him as a brother, even though we looked nothing alike. He had black hair, and almond shaped brown eyes. He was fully Hawaiian when I was only a third. He showed me around he island down to turtle cove where a big bat ray came every day at sunset, legend had it that if you threw a flower and it landed in his mouth you would find true love within a month.
I also had met a young girl- Nia- from England, here with her grandma. She had short blond hair and soft blue eyes, she was shy and thirteen. But she was nice and got along well with Kona. I was sure that she had a crush on him.
Kona had a secret, Nia knew about it, probably from stalking him, but she knew it. I heard her whispering to him about it. What ever it was they didn’t want me to know, at least at the time
- by akvamariin |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 02/14/2009 |
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- Title: The cove
- Artist: akvamariin
- Description: Just a book I am starting, this is only the prolouge I hope you like. Please, please, PLEASE comment.
- Date: 02/14/2009
- Tags: cove
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Comments (3 Comments)
- Aster Lavinium - 08/08/2010
- i like how you leave the readers wanting more with the secret, prologues aren't really used to establish a setting and characters though they're more for recapping on the previous book (series), giving a myth or history that ties in with the story, showing an important event that occurred before the beginning of your story, or (in the case of Twilight) foreshadowing what's to come in your story in a cryptic way that draws readers in. i would also maybe polish up on sentence variety but its good
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- lucky_7 - 02/18/2009
- Too many simple sentences... But if you changed that it'd be a 5/5. Until then, 4/5.
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- XxX_Azume_XxX - 02/15/2009
- i like it first coment 5/5 all the way
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