The home crier

• Artist: roxy1101
• Description: (FAKE NOT TRUE STORY)
• Date: 04/24/2009
• Tags: home crier

I had a horrible migrain and my little brother came out and said can i get on the computer and i said mabye after you clean off your bed. and he ran in and 5 mins later he comes out and says come check so i walk in and it's perfect but his floor was covered i could barley see the floor so i tell him to clean his floor and then i left the room every quite. about 1 mins. later he come out s angry as a boy that gust didn't get his way anyway he comes out and hits vicky then she pills him in to his room and closes her door she hears her brother come out and was fed up she packed up all her stuff you guess the ending was it 1. she moved in with her nana
2. she moves in with her papa
3. she keeps living with her mom and doesn't leave
4. she moves in with her brother
5. she moves in with her sister
6. she moves in with her dad
comment your answer

Comments

[onionio]

Your writing skills are not yet developed. You keep switching from past tense to present making it confusing. You don't exactly have much of a plot either.

[Sparky328]

uhm...kinda confusing, ya know? roxy, i have a request. can you make this easier to understand? plzz? no offense, but its kinda hard to read, good job tho

[roxy1101]

Make sure u comment on this right here not my profile..