• Head Case

    All my pent up anger, frustration, and sadness is wound up into a ball and stuffed into an air tight glass-like sphere. And guess who they put in charge of it; the inner child.

    “You know,” said my inner child thoughtfully looking down at the bright glowing orb, “I could just throw this down on the ground; make you have a melt down in the hallway.” I glared at her as I imagined how well that would go at my school, “Yeah I'd rather you didn't.”

    It was strange to see my own set of eyes look up at me inquisitively, “Well why not?” she questioned, “It's about to break anyways and besides you'd get some of that attention you're always whining about not having.” As she said this my inner child began tossing the sphere in the air catching it just before it hit the ground, giggling all the while. I decided then not to say anything more and just watch as a little me played with my emotions.

    Inner children hate only one thing and that's being ignored; when mine realized that I was no longer speaking to her she became spiteful.

    “I wasn't kidding you know,” she said angrily, “I really will smash this and there's nothing you can do about it!” My mouth remained shut but on the inside I was freaking out slightly, she was right of course , there was nothing I could do about her smashing that ball right open because I wasn't allowed to hold those emotions.

    Emotion handling has a weird way of working; my regular emotions I could hold and control but what my younger self held in her small hands I could not. What she has are my extreme emotions like depression, hysteria, and trauma; the glass-like outside had three huge cracks and a whole lot of slight scratches. My inner child had not been exaggerating when she said it was on the verge of braking and she and I both knew it would take but one good tap for it to shatter.

    “Fine if that's how you want it that's how we'll do it. It's about time you broke this thing anyway the feelings are getting to big for the ball.” She raised said ball over her head and before I could say anything to stop her she-------





    I woke up a few days later with my parents sobbing over me and me best friend looking like hell next to them. I was told I had tried to kill myself but had failed due to chickening out at the last minute, my friends words not mine. After a month as an in patent at a psychiatric hospital I was released back to my parents. The night I got home just before I went to bed I retreated into the dark corners of my mind and found my inner child sitting on the floor laughing and playing with a new half full glass ball.