• The Hunter sat outside the 15th story window of the fancy 5 star Atlantis Hotel in the bahamas waiting to strike. It was his 3rd day waiting and watching the author, Stephanie Meyer's every movement. Things such as her periods of writing mediocre chapters for her next novel, dipping in the pool, and buying overpriced food and drink at the bars that seemed to be at every turn in the giant hotel. He was a professional

    The Hunter smelled of cheap whisky and stale crackers, hadn't shaved in a week, and had a seedy and creepy look to him like he would steal you wallet and then plant stinkbombs in it just for laughs. As he slowly slid open the window he noted the sleeping housewife in the enormous bed right in front of him. He was nervous, and the slight twitch in his eye seemed to be a constant reminder of his habit of cold feet before a murder. He pulled his blood stained, cracked, and almost destroyed switch blade from his back pocket and licked his lips as he towered over Stephanie Meyer. He remembered how he had wasted $20 on a copy of Twilight and had a vietnam style flashback of him watching the mediocre film adaptation....he had made sure that money he spent on those two items were included in his paycheck.

    As he raised his blade over the sleeping hag's head, he sensed her stir. Her eyes opened and revealed a look of rage instead of the much expected terror the Hunter had been known to strike.
    "TwilightSucks.com sent you...am I right?" She asked angrily as she pushed the blade away from her face.
    The Hunter was shocked- how could she have woken at just the right time and geussed who sent him...it had taken him hours to figure it out and her just a few seconds. Before he could think anymore the authors foot smashed into his chin and sent him flying through her closed door, and into the kitchen. As he stumbled around like a blindfolded pig in a burning building he saw Stephanie Meyer step out of her bedroom, twirling his switchblade through her fingers like a trained killing machine. He flailed to the hotel's convienent set of lethal kitchen knives desprate to get a wepon to fight the approaching beast. He grabbed a meat cleaver and hurled it at Stephanie Meyer.

    Stephanie Meyer chewed the corpse of the Hunter, still having the meat cleaver lodged in her ribcage. As she finished chewing, she tossed his limp body into the huge pile of other assassins sent from other various hate websites. She was immortal from all the power her fans gave her.She could destroy entire countries with her army of fanboys and fangirls. She was god of the new world!.......or at least she was untill the whole Twilight fad blew over.