The Assassin

• Artist: -_Cuthbert-of-Eld_-
• Description: So I wanted to try my hand at writing a story about assassins. This is how it came out, I think it's pretty good. Please rate ^.^.
• Date: 07/19/2009
• Tags: assassin

so the day was new and the dust was at my feet were it cicked up to my coat that as reay lang i get on my motersicle and i start it and it goes all the way acros dusty place to other side were i can find guys base he is secret so gards r everwere i swich to my lazer guns and so i shoot the gards adn they start to die so i smil slight and say hah i am to god i hied corps and so walk away were it is safe to clime into vent i go inside to the vent and crall al way threw to were guy is bein but guys men find me but i shot them so they fall to ground but i hav to hid the bodes so i grab and move to the side place that is dark so they cant ben seen i continew done hal until i find the big door made of medal so i open with hak coe and go into guys room he turn around in chair that turn it is big and black and he laugh to me and say you r too late assassin i am not here so the hollygram go away and i yel to him nooo but so i walk to cahir and pres buton and i end up telprt to is otherb ase well now i hav u he says no but i shoot him now he is dead so i hade bodes and go away on motersicle now worl d safe

Comments

[Je Suis Sam]

Learn how to spell. I give this a -1. Honestly, get a spell checker or something.

[pink kitty kisses]

i like it but i do think you at least need some periods if nothing else! But i understand the jist of the story I think it could use some work but its a good start More detail and Periods should be the next step! then you can work on gramer but I realy do think the vision is good! You should check out my story! Gods warriors!

[KirqueDuFreakish]

um its nice but no good grammer puntuation or capitalization 3/5 sorry =(

[vv7722]

Okay, I don't know if you're kidding or what, but seriously get a spell checker. All I have to say is that that's one freakin long sentence. 0/5 . . . I don't think you tried.

[-_Cuthbert-of-Eld_-]

This is a special piece of art, half theater, half writing. You must enter a different mindset to see the truth of my artistic vision here. Not all people will understand what I strive for.

[Kianaries]

Dude, before you ever think of submitting something again, have a friend or an adult proof-read it. This thing has no punctuation or capitalization, and the spelling and grammar are s**t. Doesn't matter how good you think it is if people can't read it. 0/5