• “I’m just wondering if I’m making a mistake,” she wonders after a long pause.

    “If you’re having doubts about this, I don’t want to-”

    “No…I’m not having doubts about you,“ she answers automatically. “It’s just that…sometimes I can’t believe it actually happened, and I pick up the phone to call him just to talk, and…” Willing herself not to cry as her throat closes up, she continues in a small voice, as she closes her eyes. “I mean, three years is a an enormous amount of time to be with someone. We both lost our virginity together when I was sixteen. It’s a lot of history, and sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if we’d stayed together.”

    “He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah, it’s a lot of history all right. A lot of history I could never live up to,” he whispers.

    “Yeah I know, but I want to be with you. You and I are too much alike.”

    “Yeah I know,” he says. He kisses her softly, running his hands gently through her long hair, making her moan before he pulls away. “You should get some sleep,” he suggests.

    The thought of sleeping to her was scary. The dreams of Luis came to her almost every night, and she always woke up crying afterwards. She knew it was her subconscious telling her that she was in no way over Luis, but did they have to come every night? Luis had been everything to her, and she felt like he had just thrown her away, like a used tissue. She hoped it wouldn’t be that way with Mike.


    She cleared her throat before answering. “No, I can’t,” she responds, the pain audible in her voice. “Not unless you’ll be there when I wake up.”

    “Yeah sure,” he looks at her, the concern plain in his eyes. “Are you okay though?”

    Mike could see the pain in her eyes, plain as the night sky outside, and no matter how much he knew she tried to hide it, her eyes are haunted. The look in her eyes made his heart hurt. She’d truly loved and lost it all. The sad thing is, he knows he had caused all this pain. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t hate him. He hates himself, just looking into her eyes.