• Quote:
    I was walking down da halway in skewl wen i saw Ed wif... bella! she waz askin him sumfing n cring all over da place.
    "Wat is goin on" i snared n edword hugged me n sed "Its ok i waz tring 2 ignore her butt she wnt go away."

    You snared? You captured him in an animal trap? If you were trying to ignore her Butt, then just look away.

    "Plz plz edmard" she cryed. "I realli want 2 go to homecumin wid u. i go evry year wif no date n now im in luv wif u nd i want u to b mi date."

    I thought his name was Edward. Or Edword. Or Ed. Not Edmard.

    "STFU edward sed. "Cant u see dat i alredi hav a date. Dis is my gf TWILA."

    Okay, you were getting married, and now she's you girlfried? One step forward, two steps back.

    "Yea u better bakk off." i told her. "odderwize thingz mite get messi." She ran away screming.

    Yep, you're tough Twila.

    "So hav u cn Esmet?????' i assed him. "He waznt in homroom 2dai" "Yea ummm Tqila, he transforrmed out of da skewl so he culd go on tourz wif Gerad."

    You assed him? You little perv. Is that a new 'Teen Slang?' And Tqila.... Oh, I get it! Twila!

    "But hes a vampir1" i was socked at dis. "Yea but ur a vampiir 2." ed sed. "o yea." i sed. (a/n I DINT FORGET I WAZ WATING 4 DA RITE TIME TO BRING IT UP AGEN.)
    so we both turned in2 batz n flew 2 class (no1 noticed).

    Of course they didn't notice. But why didn't you teleport? I thought Vampires could do that...

    When skewl ended i went in2 my car and drove hom. Wen I got der my sister was geting maried.

    Now whos getting married? Midnite? To who? Jasper?

    "OMSG R U GETING MARIED 2 JAZER." i culd not beleve it. 'yea' she smeled. "I luv him n he iz goin 2 live wif us now."

    Oh, not to Jasper. To Jazer. And what is she "smeling?"

    I storted 2 cry becuz ed n i wernt maried yet. Midnite trid to hug me but i shot her away, bcuz her lif waz so much betta dan mine.
    "Im alredi 16 n im not marred yet." tears swam down mi beatiful face.

    Oh of course, because being 16 and married is the right thing. All the rage where misanthropes live.

    Suddenly... dey al shoted "SURPISEE!!!!1" Midnite n Jasper wernt getting married... IT WAZ 4 ME AND ED! (a/n dey got mared da next day insted).

    I thought that it was Jazer! Darn. And Surprise 1? Where's surprise 2?

    "NO WAY I was sooo inflated. Edward and me had an atheest ceremoni in my hose. So we were huband and wives.
    Midnite, Jazper, Esmie, Emet, Gerad, Rose, were all dere... but so waz... ALLICE!

    Inflated? Did you have too much cake? And what's with you hating Alice?

    "I hope ur not mad dat me n ur brother r married." i sed to her gothikally after da wedding. "I told u that i dunt lik u that way, im not lezz."

    First, a plebian? Now a lesbian? Dang, I was hoping she was a poor Roman. Then you could dump some chemicals on her and go watch the show.

    "Sigh" she knew. So we all went 2 a party n had lots of blood. Then we went bak to mi house. Some1 rang the bell n i answered it, making out wif Edword.

    Oh, sigh. I say sigh, I don't actually do it. See? Sigh. That was emotional.

    "Y DID U MARRI HIM YOU IGNORANIUS." shoted da guy at da door. It was Bibby Brown. He ran in on his weelchaire n Jacob flowed him. "Dont u dare tuch Twia." snotted Ed. Every1 came 2 c what waz happening. "Why wold I toch her, shes hieneous" he glarred at me.

    That would be your best dialouge so far if you had spell ignoramous right. And BIBBY? Ed snotted? EWWW. Sigh.

    "THATS IT NOW I HAV 2 KILL U." boomed mi busband. He turned in2 a savage lik da time i went to his house. I told him 2 stop becuz i needed to talk to Bolly n Jakob. he stoped.

    Your busband? And since when is Bolly in this story? I'm so confused here.

    "Ok y dont u want us 2 be together y is our love so bad 4 u" i cried. "Itz because... I CANT SAY IT." sed da guy in da wheelcher.

    Ok, now hes the guy in the wheelchair. Not Bolly. Definitely not Bobby or Bibby.

    "JUST s**c IT OUT." every1 sed. he began to cry histerical. "Mebe dis song will help u undersand." he started 2 sing in his crampy old voice

    s**c it out, Bolly!

    Well gerald was FORIOUS becuz dat was his song n he started 2 attak him bcuz of copiright refrigement.
    (a/n I DNT OWN THE LYRCS TO DA SONG EITHER). Ther was a big fite n i storted to cry "Oh no, ur in luv with me arnt u."
    And Bobby Ran away from gerad n sed YES. Edword killed him.