• Mai-lynn lay on her bed, drowning out the world with her music. She really wasn’t paying attention to it, simply using it as a blockade between her and the fighting going on in the living room.
    Her mind was lost in her thoughts. As far as she knew, right now, there was no world past her bedroom door. The only world that existed to her was the one in her mind, it even came with it’s own soundtrack. Drifting from thought to thought, her brain became a scrambled mess. She closed her eyes and found her way to a land of the past.
    Memories from a Christmas flooded into her mind. She was about nine or ten at the time. Everything seemed so clear and crisp. It felt as though she had found a time machine and was reliving it once again.
    There was snow falling outside. The room was bright and merry with holiday decorations. The family gathered around a fake tree, passing out presents. For a moment Mai-lynn was lost just staring at the tree. It made everything look and feel so lively.
    There was a string of colorful lights wrapped around the tree, making dim spots of blues, reds and greens on the white washed walls. The tree had shiny balls and baubles that you could see yourself in. Here and there were handcrafted ornaments of snowmen and the old fat man in his jolly red suit, you could tell those ones had aged and had been held onto and cared for with a mother’s love. At the top of the tree was a beautiful dark haired angel, with crystal eyes and wings, she brought light to the entire room, a precious smile was on her face as she watched the family.
    “Daddy, open my present!” A young Mai-lynn had whined. Holding out the gift. His outstretched arms took it from her hands. He examined it but seemed more interested in the ecstatic smile on her face.
    “Come on daddy, you will love it!” She had said, jumping up and down.
    “Oh, I think I should wait.” He replied, grinning at her.
    Her mother had taken her eager daughter into her arms and sat her on her lap.
    “Now dear, open it before this poor child explodes with joy,” She said, smiling.
    Mai-lynn had to remind herself this was all in her mind. Even though it was just a memory Mai-lynn could remember everything about her mother perfectly. It felt like she was right there lying beside her on the bed.
    Her loving arms were around her once again, her vibrant smile was lighting up the room, the warmness of her touch and the gentleness of her voice was like a sweet melody in her ears. Oh, how beautiful her mother was.
    As she faded back to that Christmas day she remembered her father chuckling softly and finally opening the gift. He unwrapped a small, rectangular picture frame.
    Mai-lynn had made the frame herself and her mother helped her find the picture to put in it. They had spent half the day just looking for the right picture. As soon as they saw it though they knew it would be perfect for Mai-lynn’s frame. In the photograph her mother stood with her long flowing hair, smiling softly at the camera, on each side of her slender, beautifully dressed body stood her two children, looking at the camera with happy grins.
    “Do you like it? You can put it on your desk when you get a new job! And every day you can stare at it until you come home to see us!” She said, her mouth running a million miles an hour, wanting to go on and on about the picture frame as she stared adoringly at her father.
    Maybe her memory was off but she swore she recalled tears in his eyes as he stared at the photograph in his hands.
    How long ago that Christmas was. They had been a family that day. That was one of the few memories she had of them being together, as a family that loved each other.
    A sigh escaped Mai-lynn’s lips, she rolled over onto her back. She could no longer feel her mother’s touch, feel her warmth or hear her melodic voice with her vibrant smile. Once again she felt all alone in her room. She stared up at the ceiling as another memory came back to her.
    This one wasn’t as happy as the first, nor was it as vivid.
    It was back to when she was nine or ten, a couple days after New Years. Her mother was on the couch, with a photo album. They liked to do that. Relive memories of when everyone was young and happy. Mai-lynn had been curled up on her lap, Caleb sat beside the two of them. They were enjoying themselves looking through old pictures of their past.
    The front door opened and their father stormed in. He had had a job interview that day, with the hope to start the New Year with a steady job.
    By the sounds of things that hope had been left back at the interview. Through the memory, Mai-lynn could feel the dark cloud her father had brought home that day. Immediately their mother had set the album onto the table and stood up. Gracefully she went over to their father.
    Mai-lynn and Caleb were left behind on the couch. Her brother took her small hand in his, to ensure it would all be okay. She took comfort in his small action. She trusted the unspoken words of the gesture. Her trust had been rather misplaced. This wasn’t just an angry, little too much to drink argument.
    “How was your day?” Mother bravely asked.
    Silence filled the air for only a second, the tension was suffocating. “How was my day?!” He yelled back to her. He held the picture frame from Christmas in his hand, for a half of a second he held on and stared at it. Then, he chucked it across the room.
    Mai-lynn watched in horror as it went flying across the living room and smashed against the wall, crashing onto the floor. Her hand slipped from Caleb’s, tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t stand to see her artwork destroyed. The effort she had put into it was now scattered on the floor. She had run to her room and hid there for the night, not wanting to see what else could be destroyed.
    If father didn’t see you when he was in one of his “moods”, you were safe from him, well usually.
    Mai-lynn remembered all the yelling she had heard that night, even a simple memory was giving her a headache. She allowed her mind to slip to another thought.
    She had never found the picture frame or even the photo that was in it. She imagined it had landed in the garbage after the fight.
    Though a small hope made her think maybe Caleb had rescued it. He could have that hidden away in his room, just like he had the note from their mother’s death.
    The note. Her mother’s final words and thoughts. She longed to read it and know what finally made her mother give in. Of course, Caleb had it and didn’t want her reading it. She respected that, knowing he just didn’t want to see her upset. Yet no matter how upsetting it may be she really did want to read it. It was the last piece of her mother’s life.
    The image of her mother lying there, dead, came back. She was face down, in her own blood, with a bullet through the head and the gun it erupted from in her hand.
    When Mai-lynn had seen her mother’s body that night she had not seen the gun right away. She had honestly thought her father had beaten her to death and left her to bathe in a puddle of her blood. Her mind had been screaming at her that he was hiding in the shadows and they were next. That was until she laid eyes on the gun. Then the scene strung itself together.
    That night had been a hard one, when their father finally returned it got worse and since then it had never really gotten better.
    Mai-lynn brushed her hair out of her face and sighed. She had never been mad that her mother had left them. She fully understood how hard things were.
    Such a beautiful, kind woman didn’t deserve such a horrible life. All that pain and hatred, what did she do to get that? Her mother should have had so much more, yet she was never given it, no matter how good of a person she had been.
    Despite not being angry, Mai-lynn still wondered why. She understood life was too hard for her. Though what had pushed her over the edge that night? There must have been something that made her give up all hope and not want to fight anymore, but what was it?
    Mai-lynn silently wondered if maybe she could have done something to keep her holding on just a little bit longer. Maybe, if she could have done that for her mother they could have left her father, they could have gotten away and started all over again just her, Caleb and mother. Everything could have turned out differently, if only they had been given a little bit more time.
    She slipped from reality and became lost in thoughts. Her eyes eventually closed, where she drifted to a world of dreams.
    A world where they had run off into the night, while he was passed out on the couch. The sound of the TV masking their retreating footsteps. They would run off far, far away. There, they would live happily ever after and mother would find someone who truly loved them. They wouldn’t have to find happiness in photographs.

    __


    Sometime later, Mai-lynn awoke to her phone vibrating. Returning once again to the world where there was never going to be a happily ever after. Sleepily she reached into her pocket and read the screen. It took her a moment for her tired eyes to focus on the words.

    “Party 2nite @ the club. 8 o’clock
    XO Jamie”


    She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock on her bedside table. 6:29 p.m. She still had plenty of time to get ready and go there before the party started. Mai-lynn stretched and sat up, setting her phone on the small table beside her bed.
    In the corner of her room, she noticed something. Caleb was sitting on her bean bag chair, eyes closed and still, obviously asleep.
    She quietly got off her bed, heading to her dresser, trying not to bother him.
    Caleb’s eyes opened.
    “Going out tonight, Mai?” He asked, yawning and stretching.
    She nodded and opened a dresser drawer, her back to her brother. She heard him get up and sit down on her bed.
    “Ugh, sleeping on a bean bag chair is a little uncomfortable, it was more like sleeping in a bean bag chair,” he said, chuckling softly at his own joke.
    Mai-lynn smiled, continuing to search her dresser for a descent outfit to wear out.
    “So, what happened with you and dad?” She asked, throwing some clothes on her bed, beside her brother.
    He shrugged, “Same old thing, wanted money for whatever his current drug fixation is,”
    While Caleb began explaining exactly what had happened, Mai-lynn examined herself in her full length mirror that hung on her wall.
    “I like that shirt,” he said when he was done explaining. He was referring to the black t-shirt she was holding up to herself. It had black and white stripped sleeves attached underneath, on the front was a multi-colored broken heart with smaller, full ones surrounding it.
    Mai-lynn smiled, “Yeah, it’s cute. I think I will wear it,” she said, looking for pants to go with it.
    “So, what are you doing tonight?” Caleb asked in a casual tone, yet she could hear his brotherly concern in the question.
    She explained her plans to him, already knowing she had his approval of what she wanted to do.
    “Okay, well, I’m going out and dad probably won’t be around for a couple days. If you need anything just call me,” he told her, being sure to put emphasis on the “anything”.
    Caleb got up and hugged his sister, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
    “Take care of yourself and keep out of trouble kid,” he said in a gentle voice.
    She nodded and hugged him back. The only family she had now was her brother. Just the two of them looking out for each other.
    “You do that same,” she whispered back in his ear.
    They stood together for a few moments, Mai-lynn feeling safe in her older brother’s arms. He really was all she had and she had no idea what she would do without him. Despite having a father, Caleb really did seem like more of a father to her than her own. And she knew she meant more to her brother than she meant to her father. Frankly, she wouldn’t want it any other way.

    __


    After showering, doing her hair and make up Mai-lynn stood in front of the mirror simply examining herself for a little while. She smiled at herself, pleased with her reflection. She was definitely pulling off the style of some poor Brooklyn kid who didn’t have much. She fit in well with the rest of the population.
    She made her way to the front door, where Caleb waited. Of course, he was going to walk her to ‘The Club’.
    It really wasn’t much of a club. Just an abandoned warehouse transformed into a place for local teenagers to party, legally. As long as they didn’t get any noise complaints and no one who supposedly cared noticed the slight amount of underage drinking.
    Caleb looked over his sister. “I hope you know your eyes are pretty enough without all the eyeliner and other makeup. And you don’t need to dress like that, ‘cause you are going to make it somewhere unlike those other idiotic, punk, New Yorkers,” he said, in his father like voice.
    Mai-lynn rolled her eyes at her brother, but she couldn’t help but smile, mostly on the inside. She pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket, 7:53. So she was going to be a little late, but that was fine, she wouldn’t miss much of the party.
    “If you spend so much time on makeup why hide your eyes?” He asked, brushing her hair from her face.
    “Maybe because they look just like your eyes?” She replied back, teasingly.
    “Oh really, trying to start something, eh kid?” he said, grinning shoving her softly.
    She stuck out her tongue and ran out the front door. He followed after her.
    “You know my eyes look better than your’s, Mai,” he said, batting his eyelashes at her.
    She giggled at her brother and tried to think of a comeback.