• I lay wide awake what am I to do I’m small and innocent. I quietly sob, as I hear them holler. My big sister see’s me and pulls me in her lap. She is only 13 but will watch over me at a time like this. I tug her arms around me and try to hide by backing into her chest my eyes staring at the door. Then, it comes, a slam so harsh my heart skips a beat and I struggle to find my breath. I crawl out of my sisters proactive arms, that just yesterday had wailed on me, and slink to peek out of our bedroom door. There, I see them my mom is the scary one, my dad has not yet learned he should just back down. She slaps him and your hear the sound of him grunt in pain, she sneakers and he hits her upside the head, her neck cracks and she looks up with eyes so demented, she looks as if she’s possessed by the devil. She knocks him down, he falls, down the stairs, slamming, banging and hitting his head on the walls and steps, she looks down upon him triumph smolder her evil eyes, but it stops her jaw opens a bit and her eyes get fierce once more. Without sound I crawl to see my papa he’s standing up, at the bottom of the stairs, laughing. My other big sister has my little sister wrapped in her arms across the hall. She is only 11 the smaller one 3, I glance at them to see tears streak the eyes of the 3 year old my poor sister, my older sister hugs her tight determination burn deep in her eyes. My oldest sister, 13, is behind me watching and looking towards the 3 and 11 year old, we stare at each other for understanding as if were all making a plan, but we hear mom scream dad’s light laugher is replaced by an ear piercing shriek that makes you want to cry I look at him and see blood seeping from fresh wounds on his neck, my mothers hands are bloody, her nails still dug into his skin. I look away terrified, only to be forced to look back at the sound of her howl, when I look back my fathers hands curled around my mothers hair, he rips it out two filled handful’s of my mothers hair drops to the ground. She’s exclaims and starts to hit him with anything she can find, I’m frozen I can’t turn my eyes from what’s happening, but I do not wish to watch it. Finally my papa screams he comes up stairs and I look at hi hopeful but he doesn’t even glance in my direction. He takes my little sister, my only real sister for the two older one’s come from a different dad, I watch him leave the house, all is quiet as we hear the engine of his truck roar to life my heart beats harder as it grows louder, as the sound of the engine fades so does my heart beat, my hope, my will to live, he has left me. Before I can even cry anymore my oldest sister pulls me back to our room. We all know what will happen next kneel on the floor in the middle of our room. I hear the steps she takes, the louder they grow, the more my hope fades, my sanity, my soul, I’m empty, I’m almost used to it by now, I figure it’s the only way to survive this. I’m eight and know who to become completely numb, no fear, but also no hope. She opens the door and see’s me, she yells and screams, she even hits. For I am the reason she’s with my farther if I wasn’t born if she had aborted me when she had the chance she wouldn’t be married to him. It’s all my fault, I do everything wrong, nothing can be my older sisters it’s all me as it’s always been me. I sit there and listen to her hate me, she does hate me, she even wants me dead I know she may not feel this way in an hour but for now I’m the reason her life stinks I’m the reason for everything that has ever gone wrong. So I stay and listen, I take each blow. Soon she stops feeling better about herself. I am left on the floor my big sisters pretending to be asleep. My papa left me, he couldn’t help, no one could. I crawl to my bed and lay down once more praying I will have a good dream to help me forget this hole thing.