• Murphy was a happy giraffe. Murphy lived in Africa with all the other giraffes, and he happily ate leaves all day long. Murphy had a beautiful giraffe wife and giraffe child, and together they laughed and ate leaves together all day long, and cuddled at night.
    One day, Murphy was eating his happy leaves as usual, when suddenly something bit him between the his happy eyes. He figured it was just a mosquito or fly, and ignored it. But soon, Murphy started to get headaches. He would rub his head on trees, take Tylenol, and do everything to make the headaches go away, but they didn't! They got worse! And soon, Murphy was too sick and in too much pain to move. His giraffe wife and child left him for a younger, sexier giraffe since he could no longer provide for them. So, Murphy sat alone, in horrible, crippling pain, until suddenly he was paralyzed. Then, a botfly crawled out of head and flew away.
    Meanwhile, the local lion pride was starving. All the happy giraffes and animals were too big and healthy for them to catch. But, one day, they came across a giraffe, sick and paralyzed. The lions rejoiced and ate him alive. Then, feeling better and ready for hunting, they ate all the animals, and eventually ate his wife and kid.

    The moral of the story is: ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT, KIDDIES.

    THE END.