• Prolouge:


    Running in the wind with the cold breeze in my hair, I still had that creepy feeling that someone was watching me. But I just shaked it off just as I shaked my long blond hair in the wind. All I can remember is watching my breath fog out in the wind and having that chilled feeling on the back of my neck.
    I knew very well that I was alone in that park at 5 am in the morning, and I also knew that with my Ipod turned up as loud as it was turned up I couldn't even hear a dog barking beside me. I wanted peace and this was how I got it, having that feeling of danger as I ran on the frosted sidewalk having the risk of falling and damaging myself pretty bad. But did I care at the time? No, I thought it was innocent. Just as innocent as the snow that was begininng to fall.
    Then, just as I expected, I almost fell with the clusmy person I am. I mean, a person like me--who's picture you will absoultley find under clumsy in your dictionary--was running on iced streets at this time in the morning? It was like commiting sucided already. But I caught my balance and continued running.

    And for the next few months, I continued running and running at the same time. It wasn't really a weight matter or a healthy matter, I just liked the feeling of satisfaction I got as I ran up my sidewalk with barely any breath and knew that I did it. Without anyones help. But just like any other person, I got lonely, and I started to jog instead of run and to listen to voices instead of my music.
    And that's how I found him. My Mr. Right, which he was indeed. He came right beside me one day and said he loved my hair in a ponytail because it showed off my coffee brown eyes. We ran every morning for at least 2 weeks after that. Side by side, and I soon got to realize that he was a very attractive guy. And a gentleman at the most, he would walk on the car side of the sidewalk and when there was sprinklers he would get wet instead of me. I fell for him instantly. And when he invited me to dinner I didn't even to hesitate to say yes.
    I wore my black dress, the one that matched the pearls I got on my 18th birthday. With the black pumps that killed my heels, but I didn't care. I was excited and ready, my hair was curled and my teeth were whitened. I felt no harm, just extremley nervous. He showed up to my house, and if I remember correctley he smelt like marshmellows and peaches. He opened my car door and on the way to the resturant, he couldn't take his eyes off me. I felt absoultley speachless when we pulled to our park. I looked at him with an 'are you serious?' but he just smiled and we had a late night picnic dinner, and I did drink. I admit I drank a lot, and so did he, and before I knew it we were already in his car making out on the drive to his house.
    When we pulled up, he jumped out of his car so fast that I didn't even notice I was kissing the air until he opened my door and I almost fell out of the seat. I jumped on him and he carried me to the door and the lights weren't even on. His bed was soft and fluffy, and his hands were so cold. They brushed against my skin, and before I knew it I fell into a deep sea of pleasure.

    The next morning I woke to a red rose and a note that said 'Sorry, early needs call sometimes. Help yourself to the fridge, wish I could be there to see your beautiful face wake up.' I smiled to myself and as I walked to the fridge and got a glass of orange juice I saw a door close in the corner of my eye. I checked all the rooms and I dropped my glass of orange juice to what I saw.
    Two beds...two pink beds...two pink princess beds...with two little girls asleep in them. The first thing I thought was 'He has kids?!' then it was 'How long were they here?' and then I thought 'I'm in my underwear!' I ran and clothed and cleaned the mess. Then went home, turning pale as I realized what happened last night. Did I even use a condom? What disease could I get?! What if...I'm pregn--I can't be. I refuse to be.
    I jumped in my car to get a pregnancy test and waited that agonizing week to see, I woke first thing in the morning and went to pee. Getting the sign was a dreaded awful feeling, like a hundred hands were touching me everywhere and I couldn't breath. I was positive, I was pregnant.
    I waited more days to try again, but it was still the same sign over and over again. I was pregnant with a mans baby, a man who wasn't even my husband. What was I going to do?