• Thoughts of the nevers and maybes and the I wouldn'ts, and it couldn'ts, wonderings and ponderings, and hypothetical questions that can't be answered, and the not knowing, and the never wanting to know but the curious and the maybe wanting to know, and the confused and the hurt, and the angry, and the content, the departing and the planning, and the memories fading and growing and addding, the forgetting the remembering, the hating and the loving, and the not feeling a damned thing anymore, and the wishing to be so far away from everything and everyone, but the never wanting to leave, and the indecisions and the I don't knows when I do know and the I don't knows when I can't know, but do i know? Will I ever know? And not trying hard enough, and trying too hard, and not caring when I do, and caring when I don't, because I never do and I could never care, and the observing, and the lying, and the promises never kept, and the past the present the future, and the never going to happen, but there it goes and happens, and the life we take for granted, the journeys we were always too afraid to take, the happy moments we ignored, the sad ones we stretched out, the cheating, and the secrets, and the fights and the tears, the words we forgot to say, questions never asked, words fear held back, actions we hesitated, growing older and forgetting where we're going, remembering who was there at the wrong moment, never wanting to question it because never wanting to hear the answer we hate the most, fear right? And the people who never grow up like Peter Pan, and the people wise beyond their years, the ones who try to change, and the ones who never will, the ones who don't ask but assume, and I regret assumptions, and once a toy is broken, even fixed it's never the same, right? We are never the same, and the changing and the growing, and the fools who stay the same, and the ones who learn and the ones who chance it, the ones who don't care and never will, the ones we lie to, the ones I'll never tell, the secrets kept behind sown shut lips, the past is brought forward and the future pushed so far back, and when we stop and think it's over and we begin a new journey, can we? And everyone gets replaced, never in the heart, but in general, a new best friend, a new lover, a new enemy, and we keep changing and we move away, and when they say forever, and when they leave tomorrow, and the never loving, never trusting, never staying, never feeling, never caring, always lying, I can't stay the same and change once in a blue moon, don't I? A lie of never changing and then the world falls beneath or feet, and the I'm the same, no something's wrong, I'm okay, right? No. And the I'm the same, no something's different, we're never the same new toy, could we ever be? And the people involved, and the people who were never meant to know, and the stories for later, and the memories forever, and then we forget, and the summer that rushes by and the plane we bored to our own lives, and the hands held left goodbye, and the tears wiped away with time, and the rash actions, the words on our minds, and the regrets and the never regretting until it's too late, the songs that make us laugh, and the ones that make us remember the tears, they're never coming back, and everyone has to leave now, who comes back? And a rant from no where but the thoughts on the mind and they're never coherent, and no one understands, because no one can explain anyway, and the hate we never really feel, and the apologies from nowhere, and the love I never felt, and the love I'll never feel, because I'm not like that, and the plans we made crash to the floor under the bed forgotten, and the broken hearts with plans that'll never happen, and the never thinking it through, and the words that break our hearts as we still smile and laugh and then agree when we're screaming NO take it back please say you're lying, but they never lie when we need them to, and we move on and we grow older and we forget right? And where will we find happiness, and with who? Where will I find happiness and with who, with no one, and the alone plans that once brought confidence and independence make us cry out, and what can we ignore when we've locked it all up? We ignore it, I'll ignore it all, until it seems I never thought it up, but I'll smile and remember anyway and lie and say it's fine, we say it's fine, its always fine, its never fine, when are we lying, and when are we not, and to whom, and for what reason, and the things kept for months handed out was supposed to be a lie but wasn't and you can't forgive who you were never angry at but tried to forget, but you can't forget when you want to and you can't remember when you need to, and you never and you couldn't, and you wouldn't, and you'd never have the thought, and nor would I, the thoughts we'll one day forget, no one remembers, and everyone leaves, and everyone comes back, no but the new, and it goes on and on and on, never stopping. And the people we thought we trusted, and the people who promised, but stupid actions lead to to foolish partings, and we'll never say goodbye at this point, the new experiences, the old ones we wish we had back, and when were we happy, and were we really? And the violence that's funny, and the verbal words with no emotion behind them until you feel your heart pound, and the tears that won't fall, they'll never fall, I hope didn't you know? And one major incident doesn't end there, it carries on, and people change, everyone changes, and you're not the same, and he screams more, and she's sad more, and they're angry, and they're ignoring, and they're too proud, and I'm not the same at all, even if I act it, I don't cry like I used to, and I don't feel the same, emotion wise, and the conversations aren't held the same when I'm shy, and no one is close anymore, and everyone drifted, even the ones we were told from birth will stay, they leave too, and we'll go on, and we'll leave, but its then that everyone will cry out to stop, isn't it? And we can hope for things we know will never happen, and then its to the point where we scream we don't hope, we don't want it, so that it hurts less, but it never hurt because what did we want, did we ever want? And the mind keeps spinning with the lies it's fed, and we try to work it out right but we're always wrong, but we were right this time, no? And we never want to die, we just don't want to be here, and we want to forget, we want to run away, but then we think we have to be strong, but that's not torturing yourself, you can be strong running away because you had it in you to leave it all behind, until you leave and you remember who you loved so you have to forget, but you can't forget, and we want to grow up and we want to grow down, and we want leave, we love you, we don't, how could we? How could I? When we plan to run and leave and carry on, do we love? Do we hate? Do we even? And all the questions never answered, all the questions never asked, and all the the I don't knows that really kill me inside, because I can't plan out the hypothetical, and I can't think up the answer even though I don't need to, curiosity, and logic, it can't be brought about anymore, because of all that I don't know, and there are always secrets, and explanations never bothered with, and hearts never mended, and holes in the heart that are needed to be filled but are with the wrong people at the wrong time, and the regrets we have from our actions that cause only us pain because only we know just how wrong we were, but we were right then, just wrong now, and I'm sorry, but I'm not and no one cares anyway, right? and We wonder what would happen if we asked, if we said something out of the ordinary, and life throws you surprises that you don't even know what to do with them, and though you wanna know, you never do, and the things you can't say because you're too afraid of reactions but it eats you inside because that's a lie right? And confusing thought never help, and I don't like not knowing what I think, what I feel, because I don't right? And I can't, yes? And they're there for you, but they aren't, and you trust who you shouldn't all of the time, so you trust no one till it never hurts when they leave, correct? And the song that makes you think, and then you lack the answer, and the hypotheticals, the hypotheticals, the questions of what if? So, what if?