Vampire love story

• Artist: BlackShadow_KillerNinja
• Description: A love story between 2 characters I have made up, Stefan beckenheart , and Victoria Valentine, they are sitting on the roof of VIctoria's parent'smantion, with there secret child,Reghnah if her parents found out, she would be forced to live with stefan.
• Date: 11/27/2010
• Tags: vampire love story

((I will no put there names in the *stars* you just have to follow along like a book))
As I sat there atop the roof with Stefan. Him holding our, our Secret child. The words Secrets quivered off my lips, and pearced my skull. I could sence my mother coming, she thought that we were at Stefan's. I grabbed Reghnah ANd Jumped off the roof my arms spread apart Looking up at stefan, the door began too creak open, Stefa then Ran and Jumped off the roof, I threw Reghnah at him, she began to fall back too me. My feet hit the ground with a faint athud, I grabbed our baby, and began to run towards Stefan's house, he followed, my mother had no idea still.

Comments

[Faryata]

i dont get it what happened before this 2/5

[chica_aka_gurl]

doesnt explain enough info like how they met and whos the vamp and how old the baby is so this is horrible and weak so 0/5

[Irenex3]

Really short.... Also the intro is very weak.. Grammar errors. Proof read. 1/5

[Scarlet_Hanson]

You have a good story going on here, it's just that there were lots of errors and I wasn't able to understand it at all. Be sure to proof-read your work before you post it up. 2/5