• I Found a Puppy


    As I bend down, the man told me, "Every year, 7 million dogs and cats are put to sleep because people don't get their pets spayed or neutered."
    I looked back at him with a curious face, "I thought getting pets fixed made them fat."
    He bent down with me pointing his finger upwards, "Not true, pets only get fat for the same reason people get fat. Do you know why people get fat?"
    I thought for a while and stood up. I pointed my finger upwards and said, "Certainly, because they inherited low metabolism and a genetic abundance of fat cells, combined with a big bone structure in a socioeconomic climate that encourages the celebration of life through carbohydrates!"
    He stood up and looked at me with a stern look, "They eat too much."
    With a smile I said, "Also a possibility."
    As I look through the brochure he gave me he said, "Lots of people think it's "more masculine" for their male pets to not get fixed, and that female pets "need the maternal experience. Between the "macho males" and the "maternal experience," more than a million new dogs and cats wind up in shelters like this every month with little hope of ever getting out." We both walk out, he continues on talking to me while I look through the brochure. "It could be avoided so easily if people would wake up to the fact that animals don't think the way we do."
    A few minutes later, we come back. We started looking at this cute little puppy. The puppy started thinking, "She's looking at me. Don't act to excited. She'll think I'm high-strung."
    I bend down to take a good look at the puppy. It started to think again, "Don't act too calm. She'll think I'm boring. Just be cool. Confident, yet charming... Just be cool.. Exude coolness... Radiate cool.."
    I point to it and ask the man he could let the cage unlocked. As he did, the puppy jumped onto to me. I fell to the floor with the dog on top of my head. The man bent down and asked me, "What do you think?"
    I mumbled, "I sense that we have something in common."