Sweet Pixteen

• Artist: madsmay01
• Description: Pixie plague
• Date: 04/08/2011
• Tags: sweet pixteen

My name is Janex. I am 16 years old, that is, in the human world. Where I come from, I am about 37 years old. Everyday I am shot at. Not with guns, but with spells. The one person I love, is also the one I hate. I am a pixie. And to make things worse, I am the queen.
When I was born, a plague hit the land. By the time I was 13, everyone was dead except Karem. He is my one and only subject, and he hates my freaking guts.
I was told by my mother that I would one day be queen. A day later, the plague killed her.


Karem has told me many times that if I went into the human world, badness would bloom in me. I didn't believe him, and now I am the most cruel, cold-hearted person that I know. (Hey, at least I admit it.) But Karem, since I joined the human ranks, has only ever been with me once. This is because he was looking for me to see if I was safe. Turns out, I wasn't......


burning_eyes

Comments

[Rapid Ranter]

I am sorry to say this is amateur writing. You have too many periods, you should allow some commas in, allowing most of it to be one sentence, because if there are too many periods, it sounds choppy. Also, you're very concise with this story, it is much too short,add more details, and go into more depth with things, make a story out of this, so far it's just a basic story idea. I hope you make a bigger story out of this so I may read it soon, don't be discouraged by critisism, only educated.

[madsmay01]

Say whatever u want! I won't report you.