• <<Welcome back, Mr. Harris>>
    I opened my eyes slowly. Everything looked blurred to me. I barely saw anything; black ground, white walls, and a bare room, with no window or furniture… I raised my head to see the ceiling; only a dim light and a camera.
    <<Finally you are awake, Mr. Austin Harris, but you are unable to move until I done talking.>>
    [Can't move?!]
    I wanted to rub my eyes to see clearly, but I couldn't move my hands. That time I regain my consciousness completely and saw myself sitting on a white chair with my ankles and wrists stuck to it with iron rings. I tried to move as it may open, but the voice of that little girl spoke from a speaker on the ceiling…
    <<You won't be able to unlock the cuffs. But don't worry, I will open them for you after you hear what I'm going to say>>
    I stayed calm, holding my anger, trying to remember where I was before being in this freaking room.
    <<Here we will offer you a mini game, or we shouldn't call it a game, but a test>>
    Her voice made me angrier. I wanted to beat her up…
    "Test for what?! I don't remember applying to any freaking job!"
    After a few giggles she said:
    <<This is not a career test; it's a test to see if you are able to survive alone in the outside>>
    That I thought it was very ridiculous to hear a child telling such thing to a 39 years old man...
    "Am I a child or a dog? I can live independently as you can see"
    <<Not in your case. If you fail this test there will be a zero chance to live alone, but if you win, there will be at least 60% chance to be able to survive>>
    "Don't give me that crap. I don't want to hear that coming from a child"
    <<I may sound young to you but I'm not… it is possible I may not be a female, who knows?>>
    [Voice changer… That's so cowardly.]
    "So, what if I lost and then came back to approve that I lived, huh? Will you give me a prize?"
    I wanted to tease her a bit, but later her words made my body shiver and my voice disappear.
    <<Come back? Are you kidding me? *Giggles* If you lose means you die. Well, you should thank me for killing you here without any pain other than dying outside with suffer and slow death>>
    I couldn't say a word. So I reviewed my situation; what was the last thing I remembered before being in that place…
    [It started after getting out of the hospital…]
    <<Since you don't have anything to say I'll say the rules and then the test will start. After being freed from this chair, you should go through the door in front of you. Well, it's the only door in there, and the test will start directly after you leave this room. The test is based on multiple choices. You will not be able to go back once you make a choice. And to let you know more, there may be tens of ways but only one way is right. The hint to the right path is within you; follow your heart and don't think deeply; otherwise you will lose the game, which means losing your life too. There is a bomb on that building and it started counting a long time ago…>>
    "WHAT THE---"
    <<…How many hours you have before the BOOM, that's not something I should mention… it may be one hour, twelve hours, or twenty four hours. Just try to find the exit as fast as you can>>
    I started sweating so I shouted at her:
    "THEN LET ME OFF NOW!!"
    <<That's the spirit I want>>
    At the moment she finished that sentence, the cuffs opened immediately. I opened the door and pushed my body outside the room. I saw myself in a wide round room with black and white classic art on the ground. The ceiling was so high and also contains the same arts on it. The round wall was black with white lines and the room was well lit not like the previous one. And before me there were four doors.
    [No time to be mesmerized by the décor. Which one to choose?]
    The first door to the left had wrench next to it and the same size of the tool was carved on the door…
    [Looks like these tools are the keys to them]
    The second door had scissors, the third had a saw, and the last one had a hammer. I stood for a moment rolling my eyes through them. The first choice was hard, which one I should have chose? All of them had nothing to do with my occupation or my early life. I was a businessman in Florida, but I had to leave that area since I have bad memories in it. And I didn't find any job yet.
    *… follow your heart and don't think too much…*
    That voice rang again in my head…
    [I don't have to think, just to choose… So that means these shouldn't be any link to my life…]
    I closed my eyes and took a deep, very deep breath and then opened my eyes again and ran to the wrench door.
    I opened it to see myself in a tight black or dark gray room and I heard the door got locked. I tried to open the door again but I couldn't.
    [Well, that's great. Oh God…]
    It was a very tight room; two meters times five meters. It looked like a hallway but horizontally. In the five meters wall lay five white doors, each door had a different animal curved on it, they were as followed from left: Panda, Penguin, Zebra, White tiger, and Dalmatian.
    [Looks like the one who built this mansion is a black and white maniac.]
    That's what I thought before I know the real reason behind it.
    [I won't waste any minute anymore. I have just to follow my heart.]
    I watched each piece of art with focus and then I followed my heart as that person said.
    [Zebra.]
    I went through the Zebra door. It leaded me to a pitch dark hallway. The door behind me closed by itself and I couldn't see anything, not even my own feet. The hallway width was only one meter that made me only need to sense the two walls with my palms to know the path. I wanted to walk quickly because I didn't know how much time I had, but in the same time I couldn't because I didn't know what will be there under my feet.
    I walked for almost ten minutes 'till I saw a small light from far. I went closer and closer, as I got closer I heard a jingle bell. The jingle noise got louder and louder. When I reached the light, I saw the carrier of that glowing bell; it was a zebra, not fully grown and not a foal either. I thought at that moment:
    [A zebra? Does that mean if I entered the white tiger door was I going to meet one? Thank God I chose this.]
    I went closer to it and tried to touch it, but it ran away…
    "WAIT!!"
    I followed the zebra since it's the only thing that shined in that darkness. I ran, ran, and ran, it was a long way until I reached a white room. The zebra has disappeared to somewhere. I was alone in a white bright room with cushioned walls and floor. It looked like a mental hospital. This time, there were only three rooms each had a glass window on it and a note written says "THE KEY IS INSIDE THE MOUTH" with bloody red paint. I looked through the first window and…
    "AHHHHHGH…"
    Then I pushed myself away from the door and started to vomit. The room had a corpse, not any corpse but one that has been cut to too many pieces. I was scared to death. I would never go through such a room, that's what I thought. I checked the other two rooms; the second had a woman who was beaten to death. She had many bruises like she has been hit with a metal tool. The third and the last one was a woman too that got a shot in her heart. To the eyes the last one was the least scary, but for an unknown reason, I chose the second door.
    I walked closer to her; she was sitting on a chair similar to the chair I used to be on. I held her chin and raised her head.
    [What a shame, she was such a young lady.]
    Her body was so cold like she has been in the refrigerator for a long time. I opened her mouth with the other hand and found the key connected to a ring in her tongue. I took the key and got out of that creepy place. Finally I was out, but unfortunately in a forest! I heard that voice again. The lady spoke through a speaker above the door that I got out from…
    <<Congratulations Mr. Harris. Wish you can pass the harder one now. Are you going to be able to survive? Or you'll be unlucky to fall in the 40% fail area>>
    "YOU STUPID b***h! YOU'LL SEE, I'LL COME AND TEAR YOUR HEAD. JUST WAIT, GOT IT?"
    I was angry and clueless to what was going on.
    <<Instead of standing there and cursing me, you should run away. There are only twenty seconds, try to go as far as you can>>
    "WHAT"
    I ran away while she was counting
    <<fifteen… fourteen… thirteen... twelve…>>
    I ran so fast, faster than I ever been. I was sweating too much even though the weather was not warm.
    <<four… three… two… one...>>
    BOOM
    A great explosion was behind me and I hid behind a tree to get covered.
    "What the hell… *pant* was that…? *pant*"
    I closed my eyes laying my back on a tree and sliding down 'till I fall on the ground. I was panting, panting, and then taking a deep breath and panting again…
    [I'm in a forest now, how am I going to go home?]
    My heart was beating so fast and my throat dried. I turned to see that a palace like place and thought…
    [There is no chance to find any evidence even if I called the police. They won't be able to find the corpses too."]
    Suddenly a vehicle sound came from behind. I turned around to see a truck with black sun shaded windows. I wasn't able to see even the driver. The truck got "WE'RE GONNA TAKE U HOME" on it. I knew it looked suspicious, but did I have any other choice? I believed I was going to die starving if I didn't get in. The back door opened automatically and then closed and locked by itself after I got in. It was my first time seeing a high technique truck. After being locked in there the vehicle didn't move immediately. I heard the driver getting out of the car and walked toward the back. I got scared in the beginning, but then I figured why. It was to remove the note he wrote for me, and after removing it he drove me to my apartment. He stopped in front of the apartments building and opened the door for me. I looked at the truck number quickly to memorize it, but I found out that that b*****d whoever he was removed it. I got into my apartment; I left the key with the superintendent since I was hospitalized. I got into my room; even though it was too long since I was in it, I really missed it. I put my head on the pillow with my arms under it, watching the wide white ceiling reminded me of the bright sky of Florida and so my wife Haley. Five years ago my wife who had a rare disease died. And then, my only son followed her after three years while he didn't even celebrate his eighth birthday. He inherited that disease so I should have been prepared for the consequences. But I wasn't, and I couldn't hold it any more. I left that place leaving my home, my job, and my memories, and went as far as I can, to Washington. I left Haley and Ethan there and started a new life. But last month, I had a car accident and I was hospitalized. There weren't any serious injuries, I just fainted and stayed there couple of days. Then, in the day of discharging, I was hit on the head by a mysterious person. I didn't see him or her.
    A week passed peacefully, not like what that lady said, no harm, no enemies, not even accidents. But after that week, again, my life turned upside down. I was on my way home after buying the daily grocery. When I was walking in my daily route which no one goes there, I saw a suspicious man walking the opposite way. He covered his mouth with a black kerchief and wearing sunglasses. I thought he may be just a teenager came to spray on walls since he was holding a can in his right hand. I kept walking as if I didn't notice him, and he also kept coming closer and closer to me. When he nearly passed me he raised his hand and sprayed on my face. I kept coughing and coughing, my head hurt and my sight became blurred. It wasn't a paint can, but a sleeping gas.
    DING… DING… DING…
    I woke up hearing the clock rings. Again, I was tied on a chair, but this time with a rope. And when I opened my eyes an antique clock was standing before me. It was engraved nicely and was so beautiful. Suddenly a bunch of guys entered the room; all of them were in black suits and ties with white shirts and wearing zebra masks. They looked funny, but to me they were creepy.
    "Finally you woke up, Matthew you b*****d."
    My mind was still blank and fuzzy and I thought…
    [Who is who?]
    I rolled my eyes to see them; all of them were holding wrenches…
    "Am I in a garage or what? Why all of you are holding wrenches? Is there a car fixing contest or something?"
    I told myself maybe if I made a joke my fear may reduce. But unfortunately, I made them angrier.
    "How can you be the one who make fun of this style? Isn't it your way, Mr. Walker?"
    "Wait a minute, you must be mistaken. I'm not Walker or Matthew or whoever you're aiming for."
    "DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!!"
    He shouted at me when he hit my right shoulder with the wrench.
    "AHHHHHH!!"
    I was sure a bone broke there. The wrench was heavy and large, if they hit my head I was going to die with a glance. I said with a shaking voice…
    "I really don't know what you are talking about…"
    Another man came and hit my stomach with the wrench too.
    "YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN AWAY BY SAYING THAT?!"
    After him each one started hitting me saying I should taste what my victims tasted. What are they talking about? I though. I couldn't hold it anymore. I was going to die. A tear came from my eye and I said with shiver…
    "My name… is Austin… Not Matthew but Austin… Austin Harris…"
    They suddenly stopped and one of them said with surprised…
    "He cried…!"
    The other followed him saying…
    "Looks like he lost his mind"
    "I think he is not himself at the moment"
    "It's not fun to hurt him when he is like that. We look like we're abusing an innocent middle age man"
    A man shouted from behind with angry voice…
    "YOU KIDDING ME, aren't you? He is a killer, no matter what he looks like now our beloved ones won't come back, GOT IT! And isn't it better this way? He won't be able to resist."
    I felt useless and weak.
    "I beg you… leave me alone… I swear I'm not this man called Matthew…"
    The angry man pushed the rest aside and came to me and hit me with his wrench on my face. I lost two teeth and bled so much and my eyes started to pour.
    "Let's give him a break. We will come later and kill him immediately."
    I was lowering my head when I heard their footsteps leaving the room. They left me behind and closed the door. Who is Matthew? Why am I in his position? What did Matthew do exactly to those guys? How am I going to escape from this crisis? And many questions were storming in my mind. I raised my head again and saw that antique clock…
    [These designs… if I'm able to reach them, I'm sure they'll help in cutting the rope.]
    I moved slowly with the chair, it was really hard to move. And finally I reached it and freed myself.
    The room didn't have any other exits than the one the guys leaved from. I was able to hear them talking which means they were close by, though their voices were so low and I couldn't hear what they were saying. The windows were closed tightly and even if I opened it I would not be able to go through it because I was in the third or fourth floor. I held the chair and hid behind the door to hit the first man comes in. After five minutes of waiting, one of them came in. The first thing he got was a hit on his head that lost his consciousness. I took his wrench quickly before the others rush in. Three seconds didn't pass since the first falling guy and the others started to attack me. Flawlessly, I evaded all their attacks with flexible and soft movements as if I was a professional fighter although I'd never fought before, or as I thought. They weren't experienced at fighting, I could figure that from their movements, and that's why they used dirty tricks like letting me faint and tying me to beat me up. I got rid of them all, and only one remained. He begged for forgiveness, I removed his mask. I could see the fear in his eyes. I pulled his tie madly to reach his face to mine. I gave him an angry gaze that tore him apart.
    "WHAT THE HELL YOU WANTED FROM ME HUH!"
    The man was sweating too much. He closed his eyes so tight and begged for forgiveness.
    "I'M ASKING YOU OR ARE YOU DEAF!! ANSWER ME YOU b*****d!"
    "We wanted… to take revenge…"
    "WHAT REVENGE? WHAT HAVE I DONE TO ALL OF YOU?"
    "Do… Do you really not remember?"
    I pulled his shirt angrily and raised him a bit from the ground. Even though my right shoulder hurt me, but I didn't care.
    "YOU EXPECT ME TO KNOW? THEN WHY WOULD I WASTE MY TIME ASKING YOU? AND WHAT'S WITH THIS STUPID COSTUME? IS IT HALLOWEEN OR SOMETHING?"
    "I… I don't really know… what happened to your mind… but… but you're the serial killer who's known as Zebra… Can't you remember what you did?"
    I didn't know what happened to me; I threw the guy on the ground and he ran away fast. My head hurt and I squeezed it so hard with both of my hands. Was what the guy said true? Am I a killer? If I'm not Austin, then who is Austin? I kept asking myself many questions, but no answers came to my mind. So I thought I would search for the truth.
    I went back to my apartment searching between my stuff. Nothing said I'm Matthew, not my passport or my ID card. But I was surprised, why didn't I have any picture of Haley and Ethan? Could it be that I forgot to bring their pictures from my old house? That was impossible, who would forget such important memories? I thought I should leave Washington to visit my old hometown Florida.
    I took some treatment for my wounds before going home and after a week when I thought I can handle traveling I went there. The first thing I thought of was my old house, the beautiful house with the green garden where I used to play football with my son. And the wooden swing that my wife was always sitting on watching us. I could remember exactly how was my garden, my house, and every detailed inside it. But when I reached the place; there was no garden, no swing, no house, not even another house was there, the land was full with markets. I entered the supermarket which exactly replaced my house and asked the old shopkeeper…
    "Excuse me, old man."
    "How can I help you, sir?"
    "I just want to ask, when was these shops built? I mean… my house was in this land two years ago."
    The old man answered surprisingly…
    "Two years? You must be mistaken. This land has never had a house."
    What was that? I froze for a moment then thanked the shopkeeper and left the place. Did I get lost? Only two years passed how could I forget the roads? Maybe if I forgot the street I used to live, I still remembered the name of the company I used to work for. I visited them and started to look for my old friends. Not even one employee there I have ever seen. I asked them if they ever heard of Austin Harris, but no one ever heard that name.
    At that moment I figured out that I'm lost; not with the direction but with my whole life. Who am I? What am I? What happened to me? Where should I go? Could it be that I didn't have a family like I imagined? Then who are my family? I thought maybe they know Matthew Walker so I started to ask them about myself with that name, but also no one ever heard about him. I thought Florida wouldn't answer my questions, maybe I've never been there. So I went to Washington again.
    I locked myself in the apartment for three days in a row. Strange memories started to flash my mind; a strange woman calling me Matthew, an old man patting Matthew's shoulder, and when I was a kid another kid calling me Matthew again. Every day passed, my head would hurt more and more.
    In the fourth day I thought I may take a walk, because if I kept myself shut, I was going to become insane. I walked in the park which was full of people especially kids with their parents. They reminded me of my son, or Ethan; the kid in my mind whoever he was. There was a boy who was playing football with his mother. His age was almost the same as Ethan. When he was running he almost fall so I rushed to hold him, but a shot pierced my back. Who shot me? Where was he? I was sure he wanted my head but he missed. I fall on the ground and the last thing I heard was the screams of the people around me.
    I opened my eyes to see myself in a hospital. Someone had probably called the ambulance. While I was looking at the light I figured there is no light future for me. People want to kill me and I can't even remember why. I escape from a problem, another comes in. A nurse came to me asking about how I feel…
    "Like hell."
    She didn't say anything back. I didn't expect a nurse would react like that. Most of the time a nurse would try to comfort the patient, but to keep silence and LEAVE! Well I wouldn't blame her if I knew the reason.
    In one night, I woke up without making a noise. I heard the nurse talking with another one next to the door…
    "…I'm telling you he is Zebra."
    When I heard that, I walked on my toes toward the door to hear them clearly.
    "Oh my God! And how do you take care of a murderer?!"
    "I don't have another choice, this is my job. But really I'm scared to wet myself. I know he is not himself these days and he is a bit kind, but I know that his heart is ruined and I'm scared he will do something to me someday."
    "I wish he would get discharged as soon as possible"
    I laid on the bed, giving the door my back. I tried harder to remember who I am. Even if I lost my memory why would I have a replaced memory? I kept trying to remember. All the people I remembered who weren't in Austin memory were calling me Matthew. I closed my eyes and went deeper and deeper until I found someone who was different from all the others. He was a man who wasn't in my memory as Austin, but he was referring to me as Austin not Matthew!
    I opened my eyes and raised my back to sit.
    [That man… I can't remember exactly who he is but… I remember where to find him!]
    That man was a doctor in Western State Hospital and I knew exactly which room was his, but the only thing I couldn't remember was his name. I escaped the hospital to give him a visit. I couldn't wait until I recover. Next morning I went to Western State and I followed the direction to his room from my memories. I stood in front of his door
    [So, he's called Dr. Ragnar Moore]
    I went back to the reception asking to meet him. I waited half an hour until my turn came. I got into the room; I knew the smell of that room and the atmosphere. I sat on the seat in front of his table.
    "Welcome, Mr. Harris"
    I replied with a tense tone…
    "Mr. Harris or Mr. Walker?"
    He smiled to me softly and said…
    "You choose which one you want to be"
    I got angry and stood, slapped the table with both of my hands, and shouted…
    "I DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE, I WANT THE TRUTH!!"
    He answered calmly…
    "The truth may be bitter."
    "I don't care if it's bitter or sweet; the truth is always the better"
    "So, you're sure you want to know the Matthew side?"
    "Of course I want to know. Who doesn't want to know his real self?"
    "You… You don't want to know."
    He made me angrier and forced me to shout at him again…
    "I'M ASKING YOU NOW AND YOU SAY THAT I DON'T WANT TO KNOW?!"
    "Well then, if I told you don't hate me for doing that."
    I calmed down a bit and replied…
    "Of course I won't. I can't live this way; wherever I go there is someone after my life."
    I sat again on the seat and continued speaking…
    "I can't survive like that. It's like I'm lost in the jungle filled with beasts. If I didn't know what's going on how am I supposed to survive?"
    "Fine…"
    And he continued his speaking while opening a drawer and taking out a file.
    "…as you wish"
    He took out my medical file and asked me to open it. The name on it was Matthew Walker, that's the first thing my eyes caught. I opened the file, and with each flip a memory of Matthew came back. I kept flipping and flipping, it looked like a crimes file more than medical; pictures of me, my prison number, reports on my crimes, and then a new fake life was made for me. When I reached the last page, the last bit of memories came back. I shut it down and put it on the table. I lowered my head and my hair covered my face, a hot tear fall from my eyes to my clenched hand. Dr. Moore spoke softly…
    "You remembered?"
    I gave him a small nod.
    "I told you from the beginning, this is not going to work. You have many enemies that are connected to your past and brain washing won't work in your case, but you insisted to go through that experience"
    I said without looking at his eyes…
    "Are you the one who put me on that s**t? I mean that freaking black and white palace?"
    "Yes."
    "And you where the little annoying girl who spoke to me through the speaker?"
    "Indeed."
    I raised my head and asked him about the most thing that bothered me…
    "And the corpses? The one I go through I remember now that I'm the one who killed her, but the others?"
    "The others were fake."
    "Last question. Were you going to kill me if I didn't find my way out? Did you take permission from the police department to do that?"
    He smiled a bit and said…
    "Actually, there wasn't a timed bomb. I activated it after you passed the test. I wasn't going to let you die, I would have set you free, but that may have killed you."
    I didn't have anything else to say or any other questions to ask. I didn't have a wife or a child. I've never lived in a beautiful house like what I imagined. I've never been a businessman. The place became silent and that brought me the chills. Then Dr. Ragnar Moore asked me…
    "What are you going to do now?"
    "I don't know. I thought I'm able to change my life, to live as a normal man. But that can't be possible. A murderer will always be a murderer and since this test was a failure that means I'll go back to jail."
    "And you want to go there?"
    I kept silent for a moment and then said…
    "Yeah, to take my punishment."
    "But still, you will be able to have a new life after twenty years. I know that's plenty, but even at jail you can change many things in your life. As long as your heart has cured, little by little, you're going to forget the past."
    I gave him a smile and went back to my cell. Again, I met the woman who changed my heart, the reason behind letting me think about changing my lifestyle; the psychiatric Dr. Aspen Ross who is in charge of taking care of prisoners.
    "Nice to see you again Mr. Matthew."
    I gave her a warm smile and said…
    "It's my pleasure."
    She sat across me to start her joyful conversation.
    "It was a long journey right?"
    "Yeah and whenever I want to repeat it the same consequences will come again and again like walking around a black circle."
    "So, you decided to come back?"
    "Yeah…"
    And I smiled again…
    "… I'm home."

    The end