The wind howls outside my window in a cold rush and the sky is dull and grey. The days are supposed to be shorter, but they seem to lag on like a old broken record. The same people, and the same words, but the one thing that changed so dramatically it spun the world backwords is that your not in it. The once sunny and colorful sky is nothing but a dead reminder that your not here beside me.
I walk down the busy streets oblivious to the noise and commotion of the same people rushing to their next bus stop or they're job. I walk past the stores we used to shop in and lose myself in memories of old wants and wanders like whispers in the wind. I barely hear the car horn when I'm crossing the street. I just aimlessly walk until I reach the bus station that will take me home. A place that has little meaning to the word without you to call when I get there.
It's been eight years one month and a few days in change since you left me here in this cold dark place. Everyday I find new things that remind me of your smile and your grace. I hide the pain deep inside like a steel cage that must never be opened. Nothing will bring you back and I know that. I just wish that sometimes I could make your decision. I could take your jump.
She calls me suddenly in my dark thought and the world brightens just a little bit. I hear her voice on the other line and I know that I'm really not alone in this grey world. I survived the loss of your smile your presence your strength and from that I've learned that sometimes there is a silver lining to every storm.
I look out the window as she tells me how her week has gone and the clouds start to fade. In the distance I can see that first ray of sunlight when she asks me when I'm coming to visit next. I just laugh and say whenever you can put up with me. The sun peeks over the horizen when she gives me that laugh she gives me when I'm being silly.
As I'm talking to her on the phone I realize your last lesson my friend. Your ultimate lesson to me that I will always remember and carry with me. The sun always comes out, but only if you'll let it. You left so that she could come is the way that I see things. She sighs after a long paragraph of words and finally asks me,"are you ok?" I simply smile and say, "I'm still here."
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