Inside Out, Outside In

• Artist: Mecca Against Reality
• Description: I wrote this poem today, being bored and all, and I don't like it that much. I think I could of done better, and the rhyming is a bit off. It is a little violent, and I just hope someone can see the point of the poem (because it does have one), and I know I could have done without the last snippet (but I added it because I liked it).
  
  I'd like to know what you think.
  Please comment, and be honest.
  
• Date: 09/28/2008
• Tags: inside outside

I wear my heart on my sleeve
Emotions are my coat
Desire still fills my eyes
Words - Stuck in my throat

My brain remains on the plate
Pea-sized and all
Poked, prodded and plunged
Awaiting the fall

Guts splattered on the floor
Stomach forever churning
Hate overflows my lungs
Still breathing, still burning

Inside out
Are my demons that thrive
Thoughts, passions, feelings
Now barely alive

The pain I bared
Hidden away
Outside in
Is where it all lay

Yesterday's now
Tomorrow's today
Inside out
Outside in

Comments

[gabbel]

wow another work of art!
amazing!
its interesting how you made the emotions notice for everyone to see!
like almost an imagery of how the person feeling!
at least thats what i got from it when i was reading it!
another fav!

[the_ashen_child]

......wow..... that's ,like, i don't even know what adjective to use.......

[gokushin540]

killl poem.

[maar-daala123456]

Aiai...ótimo!