ash rose

• Artist: last angel served
• Description: love poem
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags: rose love poem

the smell of lit candles lighting a human fuse of interest
soft kisses exchanged in the soft down feathered pillows
the petals all over the sheets in the shape of loves heart
the smell of ash from the candles as the go down on a perfect night
the dull lit moon in the background of the once star lit sky
as the sun rises on the loves heap one word is whispered
and this one word that can shape any world at any moment
the word that relives the moment of love itself
I may never find the right words or the right way to show it
but I love u is how I feel
and the ashes of the roses and candles tell u the way our love will always last
for the love of one man of his woman is the strongest bond any soul can get
then the sun rises and I see u walk to the bathroom door
and I don't have to think of doubting this world any more
as the ashes and the roses flow in the soft summer air

Comments

[Drunken Aunt Coral]

Its a very good poem. But a little tip for you. Try using proper grammar when writting. I personally think that it helps bring the impact more. It's an excellent poem. You had great use of symbolism in here and you definately made the point clear in your own words. smile 5/5

[xX_ii russianrabbit_Xx]

fascinating! beautiful! 5/5 smile
but just wanted 2 point one little thing out:
when u light a candle, there isn;t any wood; there's only wax, so ashes from candles aren't exactly possible..
but great job anyway!! i know ur true love will LOVe it!! ^3^

[TOrCh SCoRcH]

good job adam! Very pretty.

[My Angelic Nightmare]

tiss pretty 5/5

[NervousSystem]

Well I think its perfect

[Canned Toast]

Please do not use "u" as a substitute for "you" in your writing.

Keep in mind in the future that dividing your poem into stanzas makes it more readable.

[last angel served]

I wrote this for my true love hope u guys like it