Inked In Thought

• Artist: Generic Individual
• Description: A pen on paper poem.
• Date: 07/17/2008
• Tags: inked thought

Curse this ink along these lines
The forsaken words made in stains
The message forms and blends with mine
Revealing all this pain

This pen bleeds out all my thoughts
Makes my mind in black and white
A perfect image is what I sought
This is why I write

Comments

[Nihilistic Seraph]

It does kind of fall flat, especially with the shortened final lines. While it could make a nice effect if you have only one stanza ending quickly, you'd have to make the poem much longer. It also seems a little conflicted - why is the ink cursed if you're seeking catharsis through art?

[Im Drowning]

nice

[Kechero-TheForsakenRose]

Yes, something missing. But maybe its just the sort of thing to make people wanna read more, and then they will read more of your poetry. Brava!

[Jypsi Queen]

It's really good...so far...it just seems unfinished. theres more to this poem, and it cries out to be written. Please finish it...and i'd love if ou'd pm it to me iof you do decide to continue it, i'd like to read the rest.