My Beloved Knight

• Artist: Angel_Dancer87
• Description: This is a poem I wrote one night while my mind was running unable to slow down; after having these words repeated in my head several times I decided to write them down so I woudln't forget them; please give constructive critisism.
• Date: 07/18/2008
• Tags:

I walk alone in shadows of night,
without love's light to guide me.

Yet, I keep the faith so very strong;
that somewhere out there, one soul is searching for me.


We may meet through a friend or maybe by chance;
whichever it may be, I'm sure I'll know it's him at a glance;
when I discover the knight of my heart

He shall vanquish the dragons of past heartbreaks;
he'll piece back together this broken heart.

He shall be a gentleman, that I know I can trust
with my most sacred and fragile of treasures.

Come, my faithful lover, my strong and courageous hero.

Rescue me from the void of this loveless pit;
Come for me, my beloved Knight...

Comments

[Luna_luna8]

i like this alot!
very strong and true.
as far as working on it, its hard to tell what to work on.
but i can tell you what you did right.
grammar and spelling amazing. the diction you used, made sense with the all the sentence.

the only thing i would work on, im not sure if it would make a difference, because i dont know the flow you want. but i would try to space the sentence out just a little. give it more of an even flow. thats something that readers look 4

[Angel_Dancer87]

So, what should I work on changing in the poem?

[Zajas]

There are a couple stumbling points, but other than that it's great. Also, I know that same kind of feeling, sometimes I can't get over it. More than anything it's annoying, I've learned how to set my thoughts aside, but it's still hard. So stick in there, and don't give up. smile

[frizzzzykitten]

that was eally good!! I'm not that good with poems so i emvy anyone who can write sucj good poems ^^

[An Ephemeral Dream]

Such a beautiful poem.I loved it