• How many days and nights I decided not to love you
    How many minutes and hours I ignore my longing towards you
    Of all how many I have tried not to think of you
    These are the thoughts in my mind
    And these are the very beat of my heart

    I never imagine myself being part of this situation
    I was indeed that strong enough not to feel any pain
    I strive to be the very best among those who pretend to be
    But somehow I failed
    It became clear to me that I am no longer different from the rest of them who not long time ago broke down into pieces

    I sought after freedom from all of such misery but the mere fact that I continue to depend so much of my pride makes me even incapable, and a total loser
    I look around knowing that nothing could be done much but to wait patiently until once more I regain whatever is left here with me
    It sounded dearest of a calling
    I am weak, I am broken, and I am an out cast
    But life must move along and like them I have to watch and learn from those who made the same mistakes as I am

    To remind me of all the old feelings made me realize how true I have been and awkward it may sound but the fact of knowing my capacity to visualize my self falling completely felt well inside
    Certainly I did the very best a woman of such hard rock persona could unselfishly share

    But I guess life has its own version
    A mystery will always surround it with agony, anticipation, reluctance, happiness, participation, decision and pain
    I got them all in one single blasting
    Imagine conquering a shielded battalion with me alone
    And to that I cheer myself up for the survival will of faith

    If I end another part of me today perhaps it is another story to tell for again to remind myself that finding the perfect takes a lot of courage and tolerance
    A way of living puts everyone thinking
    Yet living from thinking puts everyone into dreaming.