• I cannot find the words, as all of them seem so hollow.
    This truth I cannot speak is impossible to swallow.
    I'm waiting everyday for a chance at a new tomorrow,
    but my hope will never show me what path I am to follow.

    This game of indecision seems no more than a dream.
    Could it possibly be that things are really as they seem?
    When every waking moment feels like I want to scream,
    it's hard to find a medium, that somewhere in between.

    Lately, I've been better, haven't felt that hopelessness
    that I've long since grown accustom to here in my loneliness.
    But there's still something I need before I can clean up this mess
    of emotions flowing through me that have left me in distress.

    It seems I try so hard sometimes just to fail again.
    I came here to escape the snow, but also left the rain.
    It's like every decision gives me hope and gives me pain,
    and I'm scared that I will choose wrong, and nothing will be the same.

    I'm so scared of losing everything that I have worked to gain,
    yet I hate myself for giving up just because I am afraid.
    But how can I be expected to pick myself up again
    when every encouraging word is followed up with shame?

    There's no telling what will happen if I should try to win.
    I fear my indecision has worn my hopes too thin.
    Though no one sees my struggles, I'm battling within
    to keep myself in check, and to keep from giving in.

    I've just now come to notice how much pain I've caused myself.
    All this time playing the victim when I'd created my own hell.
    Now nobody can fix me, there's no need for them to help.
    Only I can break the curse that I myself have dealt.