.slliP

• Artist: Macabre de la nuit
• Description: .<3.
• Date: 03/06/2009
• Tags: sllip pills depression dark strength

I don't take them anymore
They hurt me
Ripped apart a part of me
Abused me
Used me
They were magic
Wrapped up in cool, smooth shells
Hiding deep, dark, hidden witchcraft
They were beautiful in my mouth
Slowly descending into the abyss of my body
Dissolving, confusing, controlling my body
My mind
My soul
Me
I never thought I would be controlled by anything
And now, I swear, I never will be

Comments

[Lady Caitri]

that line "ripped apart a part of me" doesn't flow very well, perhaps using something like "ripped away a part of me?"

overall it's a good poem. It really brings to light the regret you feel for taking them, the way you never want to be taken over like that again.
I can relate. =)
3/5

[ThisIsMyDeathbed_x]

i likey biggrin watch with your line 'ripped apart a part of me' , it's ind of a tongue twister. i had to read it a few times to make sence of that line razz other than that, super dooper! (Y) 4/5

[xretarded_muffinsx]

wow this is very good. your good at poetry. i kno a few things that would make it stronger but its good as is ^^