• NO matter what i am,
    i see my faults and see my worries,
    No matter what i do,
    i see how truly ignorant i can be,
    So when its silent,
    and yes i see my mess in this world,
    the things that need to be done,
    everyday life wont come to be important,
    when we all see nothing,
    its hard to get up,
    when peace is upon me,
    and i cant even smile for a while,
    i hold up my hand,
    seeing not the ceiling anymore,
    but the lines of my age,
    that are yet to come,
    the bleakness,
    and I cant say its your fault,
    i wont want to,
    whatever comes and has passed is my blame,
    but,
    so little makes so much,
    and the simplest things,
    are harder to do everyday,
    so i sit here for a bit,
    thinking of poems,
    songs,
    and random bullshit,
    knowing that dishes from who knows how long ago need tending,
    a house messed up needs to be cleaned so it can be rented,
    have to apply for these jobs in a market falling,
    and yet...
    I cant care,
    all i can do is be a shell,
    and rot myself away,
    wondering what is better,
    being aware,
    or just wandering will be fairer,
    i have it easy,
    yeah i know,
    but easy isnt easy,
    when so much is still against you,
    im not saying im living it harder or easier,
    its just when you weigh options,
    i wish i could split in two and be the part of me that finds the right path,
    if all you had was silence,
    wouldn't you wish too?