Violence.

• Artist: XXX Beautiful Liar XXX
• Description: I have to enter a poem into a district-wide contest for school. I thought it might be a nice idea to put it in this contest too=].
• Date: 03/08/2009
• Tags: violence

Violence,
a reoccurring tendency,
made our country to what it came to be.
Violence,
something dark that formed our country into what it is today,
a country of the weak, nimble, and the fray.

People,
just sitting inside their homes,
hiding from the outside world.
They look out the window pondering,
“Do I go outside?”
Fearing the dangers it might behold.

Danger,
risk conquering reward.
In a country today,
this predicament can not be ignored.

Ignorance,
that is something these people represent.
It is not the victim’s fault,
that the suspects can’t find a way to pay the months rent.
I’m not saying it’s all their fault.
Some may blame the government.
Not for committing the crime itself,
but for letting everything come to it.

What do we do now?
Everything's corrupt.
It must come to an end, stopping abrupt .
Take it out of the homes,
and off the streets.
Make this world a better place to be.

Comments

[Llywelyn Fawr]

I really like the overall tone. Although I would add to it and maybe use some more powerful words. Maybe replace "dark" with "shadowy." Powerful words (surprisingly smile ) add power to a poem. I definitely think this poem is a "power poem." Enhance that. I would also end some lines with periods instead of commas.