Unreachable

• Artist: Salornix
• Description: *shrugs* It's short. Comment or rate by what you see is fit and fair.
• Date: 06/03/2010
• Tags: unreachable

I don't care about what you say

Nothing can save my soul today

So come away

Hear my pain cry out in fear

No way can I say that you can stop

The bullet from reaching me

Comments

[Bohemius]

i beseech you, look inside youself.
can you not hear you cry for help?
i know you frown and no one cares but please for god's sake put it down.

[Salornix]

Thank you for the positive feedback :3

[-menTal worDs-]

Very well done. Try to add another verse to make it bigger and better. Then again, not everything has to be bigger to be better. smile 5/5.

[SmileyFacez]

I think you need a bit more rythm, it started out good but then your ryhme stopped. If you start with ryhme you should really keep it going. But besides that it's good smile

[demonchild2424]

hay this is so good and sad!can u look me up please!i wanna know if im good to!