Darkness and Light

• Artist: Star Vexile
• Description: Just another random and made up on the spot
• Date: 09/29/2011
• Tags: darkness light

In this darkness, I see light
Almost hidden, out of sight
I keep running and hope that I may
Catch that light from yesterday
My heart will beat as it breaks
Losing count of the hits it takes
Now I am calling out for you
To take my hand and lead me through
I am falling, falling, falling . . .

Will you catch me?
Will you love me?
Will you save me?
Or will you leave me?
Are the questions I am thinking,
As my life seems to be closing,
Realizing I have frozen in my long fall
To look back and see you standing tall
And holding me tight
Showing me to the light.

Comments

[Star Vexile]

Thank you very much for that comment. Makes me think that it is better than had I originally thought.

[in a pinto forever]

Perfectly executed if you ask me. Simple, yes, but that makes it accessible, and the lack of imagery adds to that accessibility. This is a poem which does not shut anyone out.
The rhythm is consistent, and the rhyming is not obsessive nor neurotic, but it's there.
There are no mistakes as far as I can see. The intention was achieved. I do not normally give 5/5, but I'll hand this one to you, because I can't think of anything not relating to our stylistic differences for you to improve upon.