What do you see when you look at me? Am I still your best friend? Still your twin? Your other half? The one you depend on? The one you turn to? The one you love and respect?
I know I have changed,
I’m not the same shy little girl I used to be, too afraid to speak up and speak out, hiding behind others, praying for a rescue, shying away from the gentle shove forward.
I’m willing to take a stand. I won’t be torn apart. I won’t give away that power. I listen, research, and try to be open minded. I open my eyes and try to see things as they are and understand the reasoning.
Change is scary.
I won’t lie. Change terrifies me. We’ve gone through so much. Why do we have to change? I know I must adapt, be prepared for different situations, but why does it feel like we’re drifting apart?
Are you still there?
It feels like we’re miles apart when sitting across from one another. I speak and am dismissed. Where I was once defended, built up, encouraged, I now feel attacked, torn down, discouraged. Are you still here? Or are you leaving me…for someone new?
I don’t understand.
What is so different now? What changed? Never before did I feel insecure about us. Never before did I need reassurance. Never before…did I feel I was losing my sister.
More than you will ever know. My heart is slowly breaking with each step we take down different paths.
Do you even realize it?
How you’ve changed? How suddenly you give up? Change what you want, love, do, act for the sake of another? One who has hurt you before? Do you see how you’ve changed toward me? How you treat me differently? Stopped fighting so hard for me? Say what I’m seeing holds no truth?
I want to believe when you say nothing will separate us, we will be together today, tomorrow, and always. I wish I could believe, but I can’t. I see the change and it hurts. You say not to worry, not to think on it, but I can’t. The wheels won’t stop turning and all I see is what we once both believed would never happen.
Do you see it too? Do you understand my worry? What do you see? I need to know I’m not alone, that you are still there. I need to know…
- Title: Tell Me
- Artist: Shuro2009
- Description: It's never easy losing a friend. Sometimes, though, the time leading up to it is so much worse....this is sort of where I'm at right now. I'm afraid I may be losing my best friend. Ever since she got back together with her boyfriend, she's been treating me differently, poorly. I can't talk to her, because she doesn't seem to listen. Writing is my only form of expression where I can just let it all go. So, to a friend a wish I never had to lose. </3
- Date: 01/10/2012
- Tags: broken hurt friendship loss
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