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Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it
Can't pretend...

I don't know why, It just seems that everytime I write in my gaian journal, something sad had to have happened.

So. This morning, I was more or less on the floor of this room sleeping. Why?
Because I had an argument with my mum. So yeah.
-drinks Pepsi someone gave me yesterday-

Well. This morning, I opened my computer and did my usual internet stuff. Open msn, check bebo, check subscribed gaian threads, post, comment and check my profile as well as stalk... her.

But this morning. I noticed she wrote something extra... more or less for me.
Maybe it was something coincidental or fated...
When I read it, the song 'Memories' came on.
As I read it, I cried. I cried for so long, even after the song ended. I just slumped on the desk and cried and cried.

Was it because it was so moving?
Was it because it was depressing?
Was it because I was simply sad?
Was it because it triggered something?

I don't know.

I just cried. Like I'm crying now.

I felt like phoning her, or since my family was out, I felt like going to her house to cry, hug her and stuff.

But I didn't.

Because she was asleep.

I'm such a pathetic crybaby who is too afraid of so many little things.
I don't deserve things...
I don't deserve friends...

I should sleep now.

But I won't. Not yet. I have something else to say.

Well, I just wanted to finish off with something else and some other journal entry...
Well, tonight, she went online and stuff...
-heart clenches in pain-

I should really stop this crying.
It's unreasonable.

I give up.