You ever think about all the stuff people tell you… I mean if you tried to graph all the information into a chart it would probably look like nice stinky moist smoking pile of dung. If for example you asked like 12 people if you should continue to eat cheese (which happens to be one of my past times) you would get Reponses that would look like this.
1. Yes I feel you should eat cheese if it makes you happy. Cheers spins around
shoots hearts out of their rear and smacks it!
2. No you should not eat cheese it will show up in your huge round pock marked
rear.
3. Maybe you should eat less cheese its making your face look shiny with
beastly acne. You scar your face till it becomes a red martin landscape.
4. Just do what your heart tells you, eat the cheese but remember why you’re
eating it. Think about how god filled its utter to fill your stomach with it fat
filled gifts to nourish your thoughts no matter how dirty they may be.
5. Cheese is not for human consumption it is made of rotting cow urine. O day
they will make you into a thoughtless cheese zombie and you will wander the
countryside in search or warm milk to fill your stomach. Which is now a just a
sack to make cheese!
6. Cows are being abused and robbed of their milk, baby cows need it in order
to grow up into veal!
7. Eat the cheese! Melt like pound of it and make yourself sick! Then you will
never eat it again. Or sweat like cheese it self your fever will lead you to
discover your inner cheese spirit (Mines is Munster)
8. Cheese is food! We tamed cows in order to consume them and their cheese is
for our pleasure. It’s our right as top tier predators.
9. You should love the cows and release them back into their natural habitat so
they can rebuild their towns. Cowtopia will rise again over the ruins of Atlantis
10. Why should you care all you do is eat eat while the world falls apart. Do you
know people are dieing while you’re thinking tiny thoughts about cheese and
you never care about our planet! (sips beer drags deeply on a smoke)
11. Cheese is better used as building material this would solve our housing woes.
People would not have to live in closets anymore.
12. If you were to vote for the correct cheese you would not have to ponder such
things. If you knew all the cheese that was running you would make an
informed decision on the kind you’re going to eat. Will this Cheese be strong
or aromatic can it peak your pallet or fall short of the promises it would have
made to get into your mouth.
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Occam's Woodlouse Memoir
A account of a Longisland Porcellio scaber and his new family.
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