Leonard McCoy
Peaceful slumbers were never the case for Leonard McCoy. Nightmares of guilt plagued him for years.....
13 years ago he had faced his greatest challenge as a son and as a medical doctor. Back then, he had a simple life. He had gone to the University of Mississippi and went through medical school there. But with his meeting with his future wife, things shifted from that career. All would seem well. Peace, family and hopefully a child would be born. Then his worst fears struck him hard. His father, David McCoy had been stricken ill with what appeared an incurable disease. His father hadn’t been the only one. Reports were daily of cases, though this one seemed to hit the elderly.
Today would be different. Leonard despite his career and knowledge of what was happening to his father, he had hope. He had hope that soon a cure would be found or his father would show signs of recovering.
Seeing his father lying there pleading and begging for the pain to end. Leonard fought back the urge to just walk out of the room, to forget the look in his father’s dying eyes. No, he wasn’t going to die. The life support system would keep him going for a long time. But, that did not stop the suffering. To live life through endless pain wasn’t a life at all.
His father was still bed ridden in the hospital. He wasn't even allowed to come home to die in peace. Though the doctors here stated that they would find a cure and he'd have to have patience. Those doctors were quacks! They only cared for the glory of being the one that found the cure for this disease. Leonard was grateful at that time, that he wasn't going to be like them. He would live a simple and honest life in the country with his wife. They were happy.
Though not even the thoughts of his wife could bring him happiness now. Entering the hospital room, Leonard was prepared for another painful visit. Each one was becoming increasingly harder. His father was growing worse, and on the last visit, his father has asked to be released. That time, Leonard had ignored those pleads with his own. He just wasn't ready to lose his father...But this visit, his father gasped for air and coughed horribly. Pain. Pain was all he talked about and Leonard was lost on what to do. Set him free? Or let him suffer because he was selfish?
Leonard clenched his teeth. He had a choice, “I’m a doctor…” he stated underneath his breath, “…but I’m also his son…”Slipping his hand from his fathers’. Leonard removed the medical device from his belt. His gaze fell upon his father’s weary face. They’re eyes met and the acknowledgement was met.
His fingers tightened around the instrument as he brought to the bed side’s control panel. He slipped the device in and heard the lock, a beep, confirming it was ready for the input. Leonard pressed the button sequence. He hesitated now. The code was inputted, but…he found himself unwilling to finish. His finger hovered over the execute button.
There were so many years left in his father and he was about to take them away in an instant. The rasping voice that escaped from his father’s dried lips implored for death. “…goodbye….father…”Leonard spoke softly as he tried to hold back the tears.
He executed the task.
Leonard slowly in the week to come, thought he had done the right thing. He had given his father his last gift. Peace. A restful slumber. But, it was not even past nine days before Leonard heard the news of a cure. Leonard had nearly died that day. If only he had waited just a few more days, his father would be alive. He would be alive to see...to see.....
Bones awoke with a start, sweat covered his brow. He felt soaked to the skin. That nightmare of reliving that moment killed him inside a little more each time.
Even after all this time, he never forgave himself for his father's death. He still felt like he had murdered him. He should have waited. Bones slumped back down on his bed. But he knew sleep wouldn't return, not without another glimpse into his past.
He guessed with sorrow amusement, that he wouldn't be getting that much needed sleep. Slipping the sheets off, the doctor staggered out and headed into his private bathroom. McCoy took a ten minute shower, it was mostly to wake himself up. He needed a shot of caffeine. Do it the old fashion way with coffee or a quick injection? The latter option sounded nice and simple, but doing it without being noticed was the pain. He had left his supplies in the medical bay. Damn, he wished he hadn’t followed the code. McCoy should start picking up Jim’s mannerisms of saying the codes were suggestions. No. He was loosing his mind if he started to think like that.
Bones dressed in casual clothes. They were quite old, seven years to be exact. He had worn them when he first met Jim. Some things you just couldn’t throw out…Well, it was either this or his uniform…He was off duty now, therefore the uniform should remain off. Leaving his quarters, the doctor strolled through the halls, keeping eye contact to a minimum. No one bothered him. Hell, no one cared who you were. If you weren’t dolled up in Starfleet’s best, you were just a nobody, and that’s just how he liked it. Bones arrived at his destination. It was the more seclusion lounge reserved for the commanding officers. Jim had given him the code, and most likely passed it on to anyone that he slept with.
With the code inputted, the doors opened with a whoosh and he entered. The lounge here was nicer. Lavish furnishings, wooden paneling and a bay window that looks out into space. A nice and quiet place. Luckily no one was there, yet. Getting his coffee prepared the way he liked it. McCoy approached the bay window, gazing out at the stars. Space was vast, and held promises of hope. Shaking his head, McCoy cursed his stupidity. The lack of sleep was hurting him.
He was off duty now. He should at least enjoy his damn time. Leonard brought the brim of the coffee mug to his lips and took a long drink. It was bitter, just like his mood.
All I have left is my bones..
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There you go ^^