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Journal Poem
My mind is swirling like it hasn't done in a very long time...
My heart is feeling heavier than I can remember...
I was up so high for such a long time...
School was going great,
I was in a very exciting and fun puppet play,
I finally was able to be in a relationship with the girl I have loved for 7 years...
but much like most things in my life, the winds change and blow cold...
School is suffering...
The play is becoming more of a burden and a chore than something I want to do...
And she doesn't return my calls...
I know these problems aren't exactly monumental...
But my heart is breaking because I feel so low...
Why aren't I good enough?
Why is the only love I am able to fine either platonic or with people who don't see my face?
Am I so hideous and awkward that I am doomed to never feel love?
Are the loves of past and the memories of a woman's touch the only feelings I am to expect?
Am I doomed to become my greatest roles?
Freaks...
Losers...
"Permanent Transient"
Am I doomed to become Jerry?
Skelly?
Uncle Ernie?
Where can I go?
What can I do?
"I'm not here...
This isn't happening..."
Why do these lyrics keep ringing through my head over and over?
and why are they coupled with "Sometimes I feel just like I'm falling in the Ocean"?
What the hell is happening to me...?