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I can't stop thinking, writing and smoking. Right now I feel the extreme need to go out and smoke a pack. I feel the need.
See a lot of people look down on smoking. But they don't understand at all. Some people smoke out of stress and others smoke because they want to die. They want that smoke to take over their lungs, hurt their lungs and slowly let them sufficate.
I'm jittery right now, my hands are shaking and my head is pounding. I know that if I go out and smoke I'll feel fine, I wont care.
writing helps me lay everything out, the fun thing about this is that no one will really reads this. And if they do you don't know them, no one on gaia knows anyone. And if they do talk to you about it you don't care, you don't have to because you don't know them. These thoughts are completely random to other people, and they don't matter because they're just floating out there.
Thinking...That'll never stop, it wont stop and it pisses me off! I can't stop thinking, I can't stop over thinking, I can't get away from myself. I want to but I can't.
Medication can help that though. Pop a few sleeping pills and you're out till tomorrow afternoon. I haven't slept well either. I'll do that...I can't not.
My head hurts...
I'm going out to smoke, driving and smoking, driving anywhere but here...
I'll end up writing more tonight. lol so gay...
 RadicalRosebud · Fri Aug 21, 2009 @ 02:02am · 0 Comments |
