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Shiro's Journal
This... is me. In a nutshell. ^^;
prose and poetry...that's not apt for everyone.
i can't kid myself anymore... is this feeling worth the pain? is this feeling all I have left? ... why can't i find the answer I long for? ... maybe it's just that the question isn't clear enough... once again, I'm to blame for my mistake...

did I ever ask you how I feel? did I ever ask you how you thought of me? if it was real? why is it I can only think of sadness when you, in my memory appear before me? why do i carry this weight that no one sees? why do I need to change myself for someone if they're not willing to do the same? why do I need your rules and regulations? why do I need to exhaust your excuses till you see your own lies? why must i hear all your problems, but not listen to mine? am I not that important? don't I have feelings too? don't I hurt and bleed like you do? don't you see it kills me the way you think? do you think I have to take this? do you feel afraid? do you feel ashamed? should i feel ashamed? should i feel afraid? do you have to keep torturing me with this game you play? does it make you feel alive to keep playing me till your fun subsides? should I just give up or do you want to keep this little theatrical act we concocted? do you see what these things can do? do you see what your hands can do? can you see how I bleed from your wounds? can you feel the same way I do?

I doubt so... and even so, if you did, it doesn't change the fact how much i loathe you now... so fare-thee-well have a nice life... and while youre at it, take all these years you took away from me and wash them along with your sins... for these sins of yours are my only requiem.

Shiro's comment
sometimes i wonder what my little head can come up with... and this entry just worries me to how mentally deranged i can be when depressed. sweatdrop






User Comments: [2] [add]
Lull
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Fri Jan 28, 2005 @ 08:11am
Oh Shiro. sad

I'm really not sure what this is about, but you're always welcome to come to me if you need a shoulder to lean on, cry on, punch, bite, etc.


commentCommented on: Fri Jan 28, 2005 @ 03:29pm
Don't worry Lully. sweatdrop *hugs*

It's one of those moments of weakness when depression gets the better side of me... I tend to think/write these things down that to wallow in them and keep them bottled up... though I hadn't done this in quite awhile, as a matter of fact. neutral ... I guess it's one of my ways to vent out said depression >_> I consider it my muse to write music/poetry. ^_^

...but thanks for the offer... though I pretty much doubt I'll punch and/or bite you! eek god forbid I ever go fully deranged and decide to! X_X;;;;;



Shiro Nishida
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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