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Chapter Two
He push me back. His angered breath was filling the room. Though I could hear excitement in his heart.
"Why," he started, "Why did you do that?"
"I-I don't know," my voice, it didn't sound the same. The sound of my voice made me want to puke. The raspy, quiet, rugged voice. Like i was a smoker.
Cough
"You don't even know me, and you kiss me?" he sounded calm with hint of anger.
Because, A your really cute. B I don't know
"I heard that," he said surprisingly, "But, this never happened before,"
"How long have you been like this?" I asked like I was a child.
"Seven hundred years give or take," he said calmly, like it was no big deal. My facial expression changed from happy to jaw-dropping surprised.
"Don't hang your mouth, you'll catch flies," he laughed. I laughed too.
"So what's your name?"
"Justin".
"Well, hi Justin, I'm Ivy," i brought my hand to be shaken, but it wasn't. I guess hand shaking wasn't a vampire thing.
"Oh, Introduction's after our kiss," he laughed again, but it was a cute laugh. I laughed, so hard that I snorted.
After five minutes of his cold, hard and long stare, i felt chills in my spine.
No! No! It can't be, I thought to myself.
"What can't be?" Justin asked.
"Don't do that!" I told him, with an angered look on my face.
"Well it's not my fault, I don't even know what this is," He said.
We sat in cold, silence. His cold breath lingering on my skin. Leaving me with the smell of lemon's.
- by coldwater25 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 07/23/2009 |
- Skip
- Title: Twice Shy Once Bitten Chp Two
- Artist: coldwater25
- Description: Sixteen year old Ivy Moore has lived a normal life, until the day she died. Brought back through immortality and one lustful bite. When Justin Hansen the one who turned her, leaves. All hell breaks loose. PLZ comment i take criticism
- Date: 07/23/2009
- Tags: twiceshyoncebitten vampire vamp coldwater25 love
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Siaya Dragalorn - 09/09/2009
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Much better than the first. Kudos to you!
Though there are a couple sentences in the need of commas instead of periods. The fourth/fifth lines could be made into two sentences, then the last two lines has the same thing. It is also still too vague! Where the heck are they, and what does the room they are in look like? What does Justin look like? We know that he is handsome and has cold breath that, for some odd reason, smells like lemons, but what does he actually look like? - Report As Spam
- humpty_bumpty - 07/30/2009
- good story, wish it was longer
- Report As Spam
- Rosedragon15 - 07/29/2009
- I loved it! cant wait for the next chapter
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- vampire19710 - 07/28/2009
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i like it..
it is short..
but good.! - Report As Spam
- Princess Zelda21 - 07/27/2009
- I honestly like this story! I can't wait for the next chapter!
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- Dragons Willow - 07/24/2009
- lemons?!....does he drink blood or floor cleaner? XD just jokin! i like it....short, but good! my fave part was that Ivy snorted...cuz it was just too bizzare a scenario to have laughed so hard you'd snort! made it funny! 5/5 4laugh
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- Mia Belarus Valentine - 07/23/2009
- ummm thats it? is there more? i understand it but you need a cover story and more writing its okay though smile
- Report As Spam