drowning

• Artist: the dead of night
• Description:
• Date: 12/23/2009
• Tags: drowning

the tumbling waves of water engulf my rigid body in one big splash. the skreams from above slip out of my muffled hearing as i sink lower into the deep dark abyss. i splutter and gasp, thrashing aimlessly to retrieve the breath of oxygen i will never again take. i soon give in to the freezing liquid, letting the gentle swaying bring me down and down. pulling all the strength i have in me, i force a smile. the darkness swallows me whole, and i do not fight it. i am finaly at peace.

Comments

[Luffypirate]

I like your use of description and the way you grab the reader at the beginning. The only thing I would dock points on are your mechanics. Just make sure you spell check and that you capitalize the first words of the sentence. 4/5