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here sitting alone in the swing, i wait for my mommy, im a good boy so ill do as said, some other kids play in the park games, their mothers watch over them and i would like to go play but im waiting for my mom, im a good boy. its afternoon, some more kids came to the park with their mothers, i still wait for my mommy since morning, i will wait for her all day if necessary cause im a good boy, if she see how a good boy i am she will get me some candy, im sure. i can see the sunset, some friends came to keep me company, when it was time to leave one of their mothers asked if i was alone, i said i was waiting for mommy and she left with a sweet smile, now the park is empty.
its late night,i feel cold, it looks like its started to snow, i dont worry, my mother will bring me something warm.
its morning now, i think i falled asleep during night, the floor is covered with snow and my face is touching it, i cant feel the cold, some people are sorrounding me, they seem sad, one of them said "dead" it looks like someone died, i dont care, im waiting for my mom, i want to get back in the swing but i cant move, someone is carryng me, i cant escape, its dressed in white... a doctor? but im fine im not sick, i must wait for my mommy.
i couldnt escape, im on a white bed and now a nurse covers my body with a white mantle, sorry mommy, i couldnt stay in the swing, im not a good boy.
- by Ryukemi Blackheart |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 03/22/2010 |
- Skip
Comments (2 Comments)
- i_love_jennay - 07/05/2010
- Would make a good Prose. True there are grammar errors mostly tense and punctuation. All correctable problems and writing should improve your English. I'll correct it for you if you like.
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- The One in Shadows - 03/27/2010
- OMG, that is so good. I see that there are flaws, obviously as you pointed, grammer, but I love it.
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