• I’ve spent weeks thinking about you. Have you ever once thought about me ? I like to think you have, that I’ve crossed your mind at least once since we’ve met. I have no way of knowing though. You never once told me. You never will. I spent hours writing this letter. Will you even take a few minutes of your time to read it ? I hope so, but I will never know. There are many things that I will never learn but I’ve decided to teach you a few. Do you remember the day we walked home together ? That was the day I fell for you, and I’ve spent many days wishing you’d fall for me too. I’m not telling you any of this to make you feel guilty I’m telling you this so that you will understand me like I wanted to understand you. Honestly none of this is your fault. I just thought that you would want to understand why. Did you ever once think that maybe I was planning on ending my life ? Probably not. If you did then why didn’t you ask ? Not that it would have changed much or would it have ? I’m just wondering. Think about it for a moment why don’t you. Let your memories bring you back to one of our little chats. It doesn’t matter which one. Just take a moment to think about how I use to act around you. Take a moment to think about me why don’t you. Then again you don’t have to because I will never know now will I ? Did I seem happy to you. I hope you take a minute to honestly think back. Think back to the point where we first met. Do you remember when that was ? It was in the library the first week of school. Do you want to know what my first impression of you was ? Weird. I honestly didn’t know that in less then five months I would fall for you. At that point I didn’t even think that I’d ever really talk to you. Can you imagine how things would be if I never gave you a fair chance ? If I wrote you off at first glance ? I know I can’t. I held on to that impression for a few months I actually held onto it until we walked home. Funny how much one fifty minute walk can change isn’t it ?You have changed so much without even trying. It’s the little things that you did that changed things for me so much. You may never understand the full extent of the changes you made to my life. I really don’t expect you to. If someone was to ask me where everything went wrong. I wouldn’t be able to tell them , I’m not quite sure myself. Sixth grade maybe. I keep telling myself that I’m over that though. If you decide that you aren’t happy with my vague account of the event in the sixth grade ask my ginger friend, she can tell you all about it. Maybe things didn’t go bad until the eighth grade when I found myself friendless, when I built up the walls. Maybe it wasn’t until ninth when the walls fell down. When everything fell apart. Honestly your guess is as good as mine. To you that probably all seems so funny but to me it isn’t. Those are the events that caused me to act the way I did. When I started to like you I got scared. Scared to let someone in. Scared of getting hurt again. So I started to avoid you. It worked so well at first. But then I started to miss you. Do you remember that ? Me avoiding you I mean. Did you even notice ? Either way I did start talking to you again after a while. Up until the point where I found out that you knew about my feelings. Then I avoided you again. For around a month. Everything that I did see you I would fight the urge to talk to you. I did that until one day I decided I was tired of the whole avoiding thing. So I talked to you. Making some sort of excuse about a friend of mine. Do you remember ? I do. I remember almost every one of our conversations since that day where everything changed. I wonder, do you remember even one ? Will you ever think about me after this or will this note just to crumpled up thrown out and be forgotten about just like the person that wrote it. I really don’t expect you to keep it. I really didn’t even expect you to read this far and if I were to find out you did it would really mean a lot to me. More then you will ever know. You may live to be ninety but there will always be many things you never know, as I said I just wanted to teach you a few. Goodbye.